tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27589625960791723502024-03-14T10:37:15.217+00:00Rape and AdverbsElmore Leonard said: I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances ''full of rape and adverbs.''Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-23140372444739577372010-07-19T21:36:00.004+01:002010-07-19T21:58:09.080+01:003 (more) REASONS I LOVE...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-VoSchTJnxjnkUDLJYKeLRphXlyE8-7clw7yKdn7ynpZtJDhBHLSumH2Kkqq6Ghr06LPwMOi2OlS83VK9Q3knpbmtrya3kM2pSkCghIfCq-Vw1FT5tNRn-ZCr2ce5huqJxbZP77x6xUA/s1600/dbl200.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 323px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-VoSchTJnxjnkUDLJYKeLRphXlyE8-7clw7yKdn7ynpZtJDhBHLSumH2Kkqq6Ghr06LPwMOi2OlS83VK9Q3knpbmtrya3kM2pSkCghIfCq-Vw1FT5tNRn-ZCr2ce5huqJxbZP77x6xUA/s400/dbl200.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5495723054757387362" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:small;"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">... Meljean Brook's <i>Guardian</i> series</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><b><br /></b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><b>1. They're long</b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I really feel I get my money's worth with this series. Each book is really dense - but in a good way! It's not often that more is <i>actually</i> more, but it certainly is in this case. There's action and plot and romance on every page and I love every minute of it. Hurrah for 400+ pages of goodness.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><b>2. You have to concentrate</b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">None of that lazy page skimming. If you want to know what's going on, and why, you have to read actively. Otherwise… <span> </span>it's go back 5 pages and start again. It's nice when a book makes you work.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><b>3. Characters</b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I've said it before, but I really like Brook's characters. How they are all so carefully drawn and unique. No two central romances are the same so every new book is fresh and appealing in its own right. And I think <i>Demon Blood</i> was one of my favourites because Rosalia and Deacon are <i>so</i> screwed up.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><b>(bonus) 4. Covers</b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">The last two covers have been awesome.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><b><br /></b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Mini plea to the Interweb:</span></b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">To spare me having to send a girlish, fan-ish email to the author (okay, I'll probably do that anyway), does anyone know who the next two books will be about? I know there are <a href="http://meljeanbrook.com/blog/archives/3306">two books and a novella</a> left in the series,<span> </span>and I imagine Michael and Taylor will feature in the final… but what about the remaining two?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-family:Calibri;font-size:100%;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Also, also… doesn't it sound like an awfully long time to wait for the end of the series? 2012?!</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0cm; "><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><i><b>Also</b></i>, despite loving the Guardian world and all that urban fantasy, I'm quite excited about the new steampunk series (<i>The Iron Duke</i>) and will add it to the <a href="http://rapeandadverbs.blogspot.com/2010/05/why-world-why.html">list of books</a> I'm looking forward to in 2010.</span></span></p></span>Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-58917691543230079492010-05-30T00:25:00.005+01:002010-05-30T00:42:43.802+01:00EXCITED TREPIDATION...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje9qAr7eFcHtXUnIsUp3Lt_-ELlNjj3-N2872yJopANgM4WpTIglyMxi9P8fnJvR8Cq1CyyUIqNPE6WPNp4cw8ZsKGKmRzqC3yu_EYl8-y55H7SaoRATYqOLeU7kXORhNFptxAVSbEcaY/s1600/deadinthefamily.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 269px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje9qAr7eFcHtXUnIsUp3Lt_-ELlNjj3-N2872yJopANgM4WpTIglyMxi9P8fnJvR8Cq1CyyUIqNPE6WPNp4cw8ZsKGKmRzqC3yu_EYl8-y55H7SaoRATYqOLeU7kXORhNFptxAVSbEcaY/s400/deadinthefamily.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476840196516025106" /></a>... Much like a virgin heroine on her wedding night, I am all aflutter. I have <i>Dead in the Family</i> in my hands and it is <b>hugely</b> exciting. (Okay, I'll stop there.)<div><br /></div><div>But.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have concerns. Is it just me or is Harris paving the way for Sookie and Sam? The last two books in the series, which I devoured back to back over two sleepless nights, were dropping some rather heavy hints. </div><div><br /></div><div>Who did Sookie think of when she lay close to death? Whose good opinion does she value above all others? Who can she always depend on without qualification?</div><div><br /></div><div>Sam! Boring, lame, SAM!</div><div><br /></div><div>Gah! I guess it's obvious that I'm not a fan. And I suppose I should add that if I were <i>somehow</i> controlling Harris, Eric Northman, Sookie's super-hot-and-sexy-and-slightly-evil-vampire-lover, would be on every other page...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So it fills me with concern to find this on the blurb:</div><div><blockquote><i>Just about the only bright spot in her life - besides the fact that she is, after all, still alive - is the love</i><b><i> she thinks she feels</i></b><i> for vampire Eric Northman.</i></blockquote></div><div>(emphasis mine)</div><div><br /></div><div>This doesn't bode well. I am filled with foreboding.</div><div><br /></div><div>Yet also excited. New Sookie Stackhouse. Woo.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-76621269532966712892010-05-16T22:25:00.007+01:002010-07-19T22:17:53.115+01:00WHY WORLD, WHY??<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBnbhmex5vCO8DhAvX4cugpjbwYv9NOSLLceEx35a9Xwc8Ba8svo-sod9ptXz2Y0L2Ytk0ErasLqCaqHjL4X0IAPyKZGui2hNLGif46XcjMaR6FnEqrMYgneh8ZzACQBcysUaH-_X7hi0/s1600/emoticon-sad.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 128px; height: 128px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBnbhmex5vCO8DhAvX4cugpjbwYv9NOSLLceEx35a9Xwc8Ba8svo-sod9ptXz2Y0L2Ytk0ErasLqCaqHjL4X0IAPyKZGui2hNLGif46XcjMaR6FnEqrMYgneh8ZzACQBcysUaH-_X7hi0/s400/emoticon-sad.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471990962315270530" /></a>Earlier in the year, I made a list of all the romances I was looking forward to, my must-reads for 2010. Below is a sample:<div><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"></p><ul><li>April: <i>Patience</i>, by Lisa Valdez</li><li>May 4: <i>Dead in the Family</i>, by Charlaine Harris</li><li>May 25: <i>Married by Morning</i>, Lisa Kleypas</li><li>June 29:<i> Love in the Afternoon</i>, Lisa Kleypas</li><li>June 1: <i>The Time Weaver</i>, by Shana Abe</li><li>June 1: <i>Dreamveil</i>, Lynn Viehl</li><li>July 6: <i>Demon Blood</i>, Meljean Brook </li><li>August 1: <i>Last Night's Scandal</i>, Loretta Chase</li><li>August 31: <i>Demon From the Dark</i>, Kresley Cole</li><li>October 5: <i>The Iron Duke</i>, Meljean Brook</li></ul><div>(I know! If someone had told me a year ago that Lisa Kleypas would author the only historicals I'd enjoy reading, I would have laughed them out of town.)</div><div><br /></div><div>ANYWAY, long story short, it sucks to be British for the avid romance reader. Not only do I have to wait <i>a whole month longer</i> for the latest Sookie Stackhouse (agony!) but the two Kleypas romances are due out in October and December! As <a href="http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/search?searchTerm=lisa+kleypas&search=search">The Book Depository</a> helpfully points out, that's <b>144 days</b> between me and Leo Hathaway.</div><div><br /></div><div>My pain doesn't end there. Should I choose to spend my hard earned pennies shipping the books over from the US, I get crappy <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Married-Morning-Hathaways-Lisa-Kleypas/dp/0312605382/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274044219&sr=1-1">floral covers</a> that give me no aesthetic joy. By waiting the interminable 144 days, I get the much nicer <a href="http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/book/9780749953041/Married-by-Morning">UK edition</a>.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Sophie's choice, people!</b></div><p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div>Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-46562969019389205372010-04-11T00:15:00.003+01:002010-04-11T00:26:38.595+01:00PATIENCE IS ITS OWN REWARD<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDO_qtZftbfIiF9l6hV4xMh56Ccop6PcWAbYyTF-mAgVVZ74-n9Z56XNzwN7NJfYwNcYmTOp-64KAOJuf7Ir5syfxzv90liGjj76ueEYejZ7_WMely2cpWbu7D_oaVpPwYh7OSSelab8/s1600/MedPatience.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 174px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDO_qtZftbfIiF9l6hV4xMh56Ccop6PcWAbYyTF-mAgVVZ74-n9Z56XNzwN7NJfYwNcYmTOp-64KAOJuf7Ir5syfxzv90liGjj76ueEYejZ7_WMely2cpWbu7D_oaVpPwYh7OSSelab8/s400/MedPatience.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5458653757196168930" /></a><p class="MsoNormal"><b>RIGHT?!</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>When <i>Patience</i> came through the post this morning, it was quite literally the culmination of 5 years of waiting.</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Seriously! I remember reading its predecessor <i>Passion</i> at university. Which was quite some time ago.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">What I remember about <i>Passion</i> was the aggressively purple prose, all that humping behind the scenes at the Great Exhibition and – despite everything I say that might indicate otherwise– how much I enjoyed it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So I looked up <i>Patience</i> (there was quite a titillating excerpt at the end of Passion). And waited for its release. And waited.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And waited.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I know, it’s a bit of joke, but it’s great Valdez got her groove back. And whether or not <i>Patience</i> lives up to the great weight of expectation I’m still glad I’ve got the chance to read it. Finally.</p> <!--EndFragment-->Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-225326163738746922010-01-31T16:55:00.006+00:002010-01-31T17:14:58.632+00:00IS IT JULY YET?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqYd-OKPEaIWnmMznBBYGXhaC9Cu-c2qT4g2DLL1t6XLc-xuwzHRiQOW84OzExp2YHg5hTZ4pFDRf5NoQD4WQyWao8Rl_Y8fFw4HkDZJt9P-_zAq87goKpC5FYe5uDYyc6vGsZzl96v6U/s1600-h/db250.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 248px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqYd-OKPEaIWnmMznBBYGXhaC9Cu-c2qT4g2DLL1t6XLc-xuwzHRiQOW84OzExp2YHg5hTZ4pFDRf5NoQD4WQyWao8Rl_Y8fFw4HkDZJt9P-_zAq87goKpC5FYe5uDYyc6vGsZzl96v6U/s400/db250.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432951040095802930" /></a>I’ve just finished the latest two Guardian novels in two sleep dep<span><span></span></span>rived days and CANNOT WAIT for the next installment. Literally, I have sat down and calculated the days to July 6<sup>th</sup>.<br /><p class="MsoNormal">There are a lot of days, people.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So I don’t think I’m going to review the books, per se. That would be too hard a task for this lazy blogger. The one thing everyone will tell you about The Guardian series (lovers and detractors alike) is how very complex and detailed the plotting is, sometimes even convoluted and perplexing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Instead I think I’ll tell you what I like about the series overall and hope that if anyone hasn’t given this talented, witty and imaginative author a go, they might now.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Mythic Arc and Scope</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">There’s an immense scope to the series. We’re talking Demons, Angels, Heaven, Hell. The fate of the world hanging in the balance. It’s all very Epic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Whilst I think the series lost it’s way a little in <i>Demon Night</i>, Brooks ratchets up the stakes to suitably apocalyptic levels in <i>Demon Bound</i> and <i>Demon Forged</i>, so that by the end of the latter I was as involved in the on-going story as the self-contained romance between the principal characters.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Similarly, Brook is as comfortable taking us into her magical realms (be it the heavenly Cealum or the hellish Chaos) as Regency England or the medieval world. As a reader, this<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>keeps each story fresh and intriguing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>Characters</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Oh, where to begin? The characterisation is crazy good. I think this might be what I love best about the entire series, how very beautifully Brook draws her characters, so that each is as distinct from the next, and unusually unique within the romance genre to boot. Characters like Colin and Savi and Alice and Irena are so wonderfully fresh to me, like brand new people I want to know better.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In <i>Demon Bound</i>, Alice Grey comes to life in an incredibly rich and detailed way, right down to her unsettling walk. I love how every little physical detail about her contributes to my understanding of her character. It’s very impressive.</p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBy86sn9CxdllFNjdg_Z6a8Z4q0MKqN6TAgPEqhoZGh8hAQdiUbjlXOuskO0Oa2hwBYgJBZzmMkEGXd710ccQRc5MqPSYDsmncr_Rorrd7A3QFeWlXVl73ne0EDQPSYzF4QpK1CoAs8Pw/s1600-h/df250.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBy86sn9CxdllFNjdg_Z6a8Z4q0MKqN6TAgPEqhoZGh8hAQdiUbjlXOuskO0Oa2hwBYgJBZzmMkEGXd710ccQRc5MqPSYDsmncr_Rorrd7A3QFeWlXVl73ne0EDQPSYzF4QpK1CoAs8Pw/s400/df250.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432950836890210418" style="float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; cursor: pointer; width: 248px; height: 400px; " /></a><p class="MsoNormal"><b>Romance</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Despite all the action, multiple plotlines and insane amounts of adventure, Brook never stints on the romance, with her hero and heroine firmly front and centre of the action, their relationship and conflicts thoroughly explored. Brook is not a demure writer (thank God), but it’s to her credit that the romance I liked best (in <i>Demon Bound</i>, between Jake and Alice) was also the most chaste. When a writer can do that, she’s nailed it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As a side note, the two weakest romances were Charlie and Drifter (<i>Demon Night</i>) and Irena and Alejandro (<i>Demon Forged</i>). The former just didn’t work for me, but the latter… I think they were the victims of too much happening elsewhere. In future books, Brook will have to maintain a careful balance between her protagonists and the on-going story, which is getting more interesting.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">According to her <a href="http://meljeanbrook.com/">website</a>, Brook says she has mapped the series into eight full -length novels, which is GOOD, because I really, really want to know how it ends. She also has a new series out this year, which is BAD because it means fewer and far between Guardian books…. Less selfishly, I’d be interested to try something different because I think Brook is talented and imaginative writer.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So what are you waiting for? Get thee to a bookshop!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Otherwise, feel free to discuss the burning issues of the day: can Deacon be redeemed? What’s up with Taylor and Michael, was the conflict between Irena and Alejandro too flimsy? Will Becca get a book? Will Khavi??</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Does anyone have an advanced copy of <i><a href="http://meljeanbrook.com/books/the-guardian-series/demon-blood">Demon Blood</a></i>?</p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>Sidebar: Although this was not a review by any stretch, the series overall merits an</i> <b>A</b></p> <!--EndFragment-->Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-9614055341016118492009-06-17T23:57:00.007+01:002009-06-18T00:14:38.681+01:00WICKED INTENTIONS, BY LYDIA JOYCE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidSokKVas2irvKqMnzVMvohfZ42sohX5lK1Ni4lmW-gM_Cvg_U4rEHWwAokvHDjc53SQu-1SDHdI11joq-sICcBsdNXHWFHBtjcr_yIFw9-wpEO_GxQaSU_4xuH-5sP4oVs2aoHsp_2rM/s1600-h/n270757-1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 248px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidSokKVas2irvKqMnzVMvohfZ42sohX5lK1Ni4lmW-gM_Cvg_U4rEHWwAokvHDjc53SQu-1SDHdI11joq-sICcBsdNXHWFHBtjcr_yIFw9-wpEO_GxQaSU_4xuH-5sP4oVs2aoHsp_2rM/s400/n270757-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348437479201342482" /></a>Ever since I read and greatly enjoyed <span style="font-style:italic;">Voices of the Night</span>, I’ve always intended to review a Lydia Joyce. Unfortunately, following a strong start, <span style="font-style:italic;">Shadows of the Night</span> became a rare DNF (<span style="font-weight:bold;">major</span> let down) and I didn’t want to write a bewildered negative review when there’s so much about Joyce’s style and content that I enjoy.<br /><br />So I bought <span style="font-style:italic;">Wicked Intentions</span> in the hope that what I loved so much about <span style="font-style:italic;">Voices</span> would be recaptured and sustained. <br /><br />Joyce writes a series of loosely connected Victorian romances, set in the mid-Victorian era and positively steeped in the dense, oppressive atmosphere of that time. Instant winner for me, as I absolutely love those repressed Victorians. What I enjoyed particularly in <span style="font-style:italic;">Voices</span> was the way in which she mixed the grim realities of Victorian Britain with a romance that worked within that context – a sort of grim, desperate love story that suited the moody, heavily mannered world of her characters. <br /><br />In <span style="font-style:italic;">Wicked Intentions</span>, Joyce retains her dark and dreary London setting with a most excellent starting chapter, which set the tone for a really meaty, angst-ridden romance:<br /><blockquote>In Parliament’s new limestone palace, already damp and lichenous where it crouched beside the stinking Thames, debate raged. And so the season limped on, with the endless rotation of dinners, dances, operas and soirees, accompanied as always by the constant, grating murmur of politics and gossip, marriage and legislation, secret cabals and open scandals that took place in the myriad stifling rooms. </blockquote><br />I love the visual of Parliament crouching besides the stinking Thames. <br /><br />Our hero Thomas Hyde, Lord Varcourt is introduced in a parlour setting, amidst his fellow aristocrats, and notes: <br /><blockquote>The world was made and unmade in rooms like this, and already, Thomas could begin to read the threads that went into its making. Soon he would have enough gathered into his hands that he could pull them and watch men dance…</blockquote><br />Yes. So Thomas fancies himself a puppet master of sorts, steeped in political intrigue, sniffing out secrets for the advantage of the Whigs. He is regarded with wariness by his peers following the suspicious death of his older brother some six years earlier. <br /><br />In the same parlour sits the mysteriously veiled spiritualist, Esmeralda, without whom a fashionable parlour is incomplete:<br /><blockquote>Esmeralda heard the dead, she claimed, and saw visions – and collected like pearls the secrets of the noblewomen who confided in her.</blockquote><br />She is nothing but a charlatan to Thomas, who watches her, infuriated and reluctantly fascinated. Esmeralda’s biggest patron happens to be his mother, whose fragile mental state he believes Esmeralda is manipulating to her own mercenary ends. <br /><br />For a man like Thomas, who sees schemes and plotting everywhere, Esmeralda is an unknown quantity, a threat. So when she leads his mother to the ‘discovery’ of an expensive piece of jewellery, he is roused to action and pursues her for answers.<br /><br />This is an excellent set up. In fact, the first chapter was a masterpiece of brooding repression and angst. <br /><br />Unfortunately, every chapter thereafter saw my interest dwindle. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Is there such a thing as too much melodrama?</span> Despite the fact that both characters carry the sort of emotional baggage that makes a Thomas Hardy novel cheerful by comparison, there was something unrelenting about the dialogue, particularly between Thomas and Em who love to make grand and sweeping statements to each other.<br /><blockquote>“I could kill you,” she said, her words almost wistful. “I don’t mean that I have the power but that I have the will, a far more difficult thing. People sometimes wonder if they are capable of taking a life. I know that I am; I almost took my own. After that, life itself seems so insignificant.”</blockquote><br />On it’s own, this is a <span style="font-style:italic;">little</span> rich. But when every interaction between Thomas and Em carries the same level of hysterical intensity – well, intensity leaves the building. What’s left are two people who take themselves far too seriously. <br /><blockquote>Thomas saw an emotion behind the glassy clarity of her eyes: pain. It was as distant as a star, and yet he knew that if the distance could be bridged, the vastness of it would dwarf his being, the heat sear the flesh from his bones. It was turned not on him, but inward, and he wondered what stuff she was made of that she could survive it…</blockquote><br />Puppet master Thomas, for all his brooding darkness and supposed political acumen, spends the entire novel acting on impulse; from kidnapping Em, which leads to their first brutal sexual encounter; then kidnapping her (again), drugging her, tying her up, and accosting her pretty much as the need arose… these were not the actions of a sophisticated thinker. There’s never any evidence of the operator we are supposed to believe him to be.<br /><br />There are two mysteries in this story; the truth behind the death of Thomas’s brother, and the mystery of Esmeralda’s stolen birthright. Neither of them are precisely gripping, and the story is essentially a series of encounters – all turgid, overwrought and overwritten – between Thomas and Em in the lovingly created settings of Joyce’s Victorian London. <br /><br />A disappointing <span style="font-weight:bold;">C</span> for this.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Two Caveats</span><br />1. For some reviewers the sex scenes were a too dark. These did not bother me; in fact, I thought the relationship between Thomas and Em was best expressed through their physical interactions, better by far than their ridiculous conversations.<br /><br />2. I bought this book to read on my iphone. Big mistake. I really didn’t enjoy the experience and I wonder if part of my irritation stemmed from the dissatisfaction I felt with the format. iphone as reading device: FAIL.Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-13948396423399238222009-06-14T18:41:00.008+01:002009-06-14T22:09:33.506+01:00FEBRUARY BOOK CLUB: THE EDGE OF IMPROPRIETY<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSuerZ0KwMcN_La0NRQ5AfCnCunR2Z80F9jy54x2q7H9Dir4_99zHzExhvUtATNjpi1bnY90b-AYZPL8zSf3iM9kjbuV2mcC2dgsKS1YVPiKLT5ZXVI5sgPgE4ZCvytA1XNSehMUi9WX0/s1600-h/n265489.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 265px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSuerZ0KwMcN_La0NRQ5AfCnCunR2Z80F9jy54x2q7H9Dir4_99zHzExhvUtATNjpi1bnY90b-AYZPL8zSf3iM9kjbuV2mcC2dgsKS1YVPiKLT5ZXVI5sgPgE4ZCvytA1XNSehMUi9WX0/s400/n265489.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5347240105340067202" /></a>What a pleasure to read a book as beautiful as it is smart. Seriously, what resides between the covers of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Edge of Impropriety</span> is a match for the cover itself; a gorgeous, sensual rendering that reflects the story without resorting to the garish, demeaning, lowest-common-denominator trashiness I so despise and despair of. Let’s hear it for Penguin, who Got It Right. (Anti-man-titty rant of the month <span style="font-style:italic;">over</span>.)<br /><br />In short, it was a pleasure to own this book and a pleasure to read it, for no more reason than its physical perfection. This is a very shallow way to start a - mostly serious – review but the very act of reading <span style="font-style:italic;">The Edge of Impropriety</span> put me in a good mood. I was predisposed to love this book.<br /><br />More so because I am a secret admirer of Ms Rosenthal, a smart and thoughtful writer and blogger. Her last book was one of my best reads of 2008.<br /><br />Even the fact that I wasn’t immediately immersed in the story – indeed, it took me a week to get past the first chapter – didn’t unduly upset me. The writing was beautiful, the setting unusual, the premise intriguing. I can be patient. Particularly when the writing is so good, and the cover is so beautiful. <br /><br />Jasper Hedges is a noted scholar and antiquarian, which is pretty much as exciting as it sounds. In order to compensate for some youthful indiscretions (his orphaned nephew, for example, is actually his son), Jasper has settled into a life of bucolic responsibility, a steady, perhaps even somewhat boring authority figure to his young wards. A rare trip to London brings him into contact with the beautiful and scandalous Marina Wyatt. <br /><br />Marina writes scandalous stories about the ton and is savvy enough to encourage speculation that these stories are based on her own titillating experiences. To wit, she has recently rebuffed her latest lover, the young and obscenely handsome Anthony Hedges – Jasper’s ‘nephew.’<br /><br />When their paths cross, Jasper and Marina are instantly attracted to one another, despite their many obvious differences. They embark on a passionate affair, purely for the length of the season, and struggle, unsuccessfully, to keep their feelings checked. <br /><br />Jasper and Marina’s relationship develops from strong physical attraction, liking and mutual respect to love in a wonderfully natural way. The fact that they are older than the usual heroes and heroines of romance – 30s and 40s respectively – might partly explain their refreshing maturity, the freedom from angst over the silly things. They both take an uncomplicated pleasure in each other’s bodies, for example. A secondary romance involving Anthony is a pleasant and diverting contrast. <br /><br />The real star of the story is the story-telling. Rosenthal steeps the reader into her early 19th century London. She is assured enough with her description of artefacts and classical references that I can’t easily find fault, and her seamless bringing together of cultural references and historical events, coupled with pretty authentic sounding ‘regency speak’ left me beaming. Rosenthal is particularly dazzling when she details the minutia of the London Season, that ‘rich tapestry of event and festivity.’<br /><br />There is a particularly wonderful passage halfway through the novel - halfway through the Season - when Rosenthal takes the reader outside the lives of her characters and casts a sweeping gaze over London itself – the ladies maid ‘squinting by candlelight;’ ‘the kitchen slavey in Gunters;’ ‘ink-stained wretches in Grub Street.’ <br /><blockquote>“Shopkeepers stayed open late; hackney drivers jostled for place in front of the opera. Bow Street Runners did their best to police a metropolis most people didn’t believe need policing. Parliament were still debating the possibility of an actual police force, though there were still some who thought the idea too foreign, too French a notion for London.”</blockquote><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The Edge of Impropriety</span> is stuffed with sly nods and winks to historical figures, events, and literary references. Jasper’s past plundering of historical artefacts is examined, as are the politics of imperialism (too modern?); there is even meta-commentary in the form of a young would-be writer. And a delightful little passage that made me laugh out loud:<br /><blockquote>… “Well, yes,” she’d said one evening. “Absolutely, Empire is like theft. But then, I’m Irish.”<br /> Which, as he’d been about to respond, wasn’t the same thing at all, Ireland simply being a part of Britain…</blockquote><br />It’s always interesting when a writer creates a character who is also a writer. I couldn’t help but wonder how much of Marina-the-writer came from Rosenthal herself: the growing boredom with the work she is doing (Rosenthal herself is moving away from straight romance), and even Marina’s introduction at the very start of the novel, when she laboriously correcting proofs.<br /><br />I finished <span style="font-style:italic;">The Edge of Impropriety</span> happily enough, but a nagging voice in my head wondered – did the excellent writing compensate for a tepid romance? Or did the quality of the writing draw attention to the paucity of the romantic plot, which did nothing wrong, except perhaps follow too closely the formula of all romances. For, despite everything, Rosenthal took no real risks with her story. With such tools to hand, such assured skill, I wish Rosenthal had strayed into less formulaic, more unchartered territory.<br /><br />But the cover! The writing! The sly humour, the secret affairs; the clever in-jokes and the general feeling of having read a book that required my concentration to be fully enjoyed… <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span> from a hopelessly biased reader. I look forward to whatever Rosenthal has planned next. <br /><br />---<br /><br />The <span style="font-weight:bold;">February Book Club</span> is the brainchild of <a href="http://www.tumperkin.blogspot.com">Tumperkin</a>, who thought we might review and discuss select romances between us. <span style="font-style:italic;">Us</span> being <span style="font-weight:bold;">Jessica</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Tumps</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">RfP</span> and myself. Flattered to be counted amongst such illustrious bloggers (in all seriousness), I was quick to agree. However, our ambitious February launch date was thwarted by that fickle thing 'life' and we commenced many months later. <br /><br />To read what the other members thought of this book click on the links below<br /><br /><a href="http://www.racyromancereviews.com/2009/06/14/february-book-club-the-edge-of-impropriety-by-pam-rosenthal/">Jessica</a><br /><br /><a href="http://readforpleasure.com">RfP</a><br /><br /><a href="http://tumperkin.blogspot.com/2009/06/february-book-club-edge-of-impropriety.html">Tumperkin</a>Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-40163306296293876212009-06-06T23:16:00.002+01:002009-06-06T23:18:19.455+01:00COULD THERE BE A GREATER HONOUR?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyjdmz-nbk4B7XdnmznjLo7CXRH-qkbsKv2K4t54BTu9x6-wJuHrr-3gPprFXNrZxDFMZj3O75KqmUCeVE_7_uKUKdN6_ylGbTXnr7suCTG1T7N2iZFNA_F87WDmkHLsWlggZZGsyf29Q/s1600-h/littleCJaward3.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyjdmz-nbk4B7XdnmznjLo7CXRH-qkbsKv2K4t54BTu9x6-wJuHrr-3gPprFXNrZxDFMZj3O75KqmUCeVE_7_uKUKdN6_ylGbTXnr7suCTG1T7N2iZFNA_F87WDmkHLsWlggZZGsyf29Q/s400/littleCJaward3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344342222456234626" /></a>Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-34506991757536795432009-04-13T21:56:00.004+01:002009-04-13T22:17:16.468+01:00OH, AMAZON<a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/apr/13/amazon-gay-writers">Seriously?</a><br /><blockquote>Over the weekend, thousands of books have lost their sales rank – the number that Amazon uses to show how well one title sells compared with another – as the company apparently seeks to make its bestseller lists more family friendly.<br /><br />But thousands of users have voiced concern after the seemingly random application of the new rules not only affected a number of high-profile authors, including Annie Proulx, EM Forster and Jeanette Winterson, but also led to thousands of gay and lesbian titles being stripped of their sales rank, regardless of their sexual content.</blockquote><br />This <span style="font-style:italic;">family friendly</span> approach has also impacted romance and erotica authors.<br /><br />So. To anyone out there still thinking of buying from Amazon - why?! There <span style="font-style:italic;">are</span> alternatives. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Some other things:</span><br /><br /> Smart Bitches <a href="http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/amazonrank/">googlebomb</a> Amazon.<br /><br />Of course, <span style="font-weight:bold;">DA</span> and the <span style="font-weight:bold;">Smart Bitches</span> are amongst those leading the charge against this, the latest in a string of Amazon-related scandals (and are, thrillingly, linked to in <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/apr/13/amazon-gender">this</a> Guardian article).Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-6378203687792975402009-04-07T00:45:00.007+01:002009-04-07T01:57:00.608+01:00PHEW!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhqSVAn4thSTu5X4nxWx7Ny2niy29X7mz9zV7Kq9mHQTWS0RyifrQUYvTOa5vb7IHcvnwEDdpNx_fUxuLjHk5mLX0yjqvEDQLn37-OC-ZV4xI0qZnJyI_R8Pw3MVnGuPaP9RWfR11rmM/s1600-h/images-1.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 93px; height: 132px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhqSVAn4thSTu5X4nxWx7Ny2niy29X7mz9zV7Kq9mHQTWS0RyifrQUYvTOa5vb7IHcvnwEDdpNx_fUxuLjHk5mLX0yjqvEDQLn37-OC-ZV4xI0qZnJyI_R8Pw3MVnGuPaP9RWfR11rmM/s400/images-1.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5321731421509804946" /></a><a href="http://accessromance.com/gab/">Gab</a> deadline just about met. Okay, <span style="font-style:italic;">almost</span> met.<br /><br />I need to go somewhere dark and quiet and lie down now. <br /><br />Why is it so hard to talk about romance as a genre? Sometimes I think it's too big and unwieldy a topic to grapple with. Which is why I so greatly appreciate posts that do. Such as -<br /><br /><a href="http://accessromance.com/gab/2009/03/26/the-subgenre-slide/">The Subgenre Slide</a><br /><br /><a href="http://accessromance.com/gab/2009/02/26/is-happy-for-now-happy-enough/">Is Happy For Now Happy Enough?</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.racyromancereviews.com/2009/03/30/what-is-romance-really-all-about/">What is Romance Really All About?</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.racyromancereviews.com/2009/03/29/the-romance-insider-the-reader-the-fan-and-the-academic-researcher/">The Romance Insider, the Reader, the Fan, and the Academic Researcher</a><br /><br /><a href="http://accessromance.com/gab/2008/08/15/generation-gap/">Generation Gap</a><br /><br /><a href="http://thespicedteaparty.blogspot.com/2007/02/french-dressing.html">French Dressing,</a> from which:<br /><br /><blockquote>The real conflict in genre fiction, I believe, is the endless argument between the helpless part of us that wants – that has -- to go there once more, and the wisecracking intellectual part of us that can’t quite believe we’ve been suckered, again and forever seduced by the worn old props and operetta costumes.</blockquote><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Cute ferret for Tumperkin's benefit.</span>Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-54981685406509873252009-03-28T00:22:00.006+00:002009-03-28T00:40:57.787+00:00AMAZON - YOU STILL SUCK<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA91Y7d_7-_ScXhD3bXs1zFOrQxHFpv0ZgR0aY4HWp5BKcYmG5QRU7W6r_AVqUSgFYrahxaTj76At3mjdAxdz2V1VP6jn3oNaeJbzNxWAy4XO_t2w9C1uoKOLQHEpDEmTlhXFOZ0o_9Bs/s1600-h/11.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA91Y7d_7-_ScXhD3bXs1zFOrQxHFpv0ZgR0aY4HWp5BKcYmG5QRU7W6r_AVqUSgFYrahxaTj76At3mjdAxdz2V1VP6jn3oNaeJbzNxWAy4XO_t2w9C1uoKOLQHEpDEmTlhXFOZ0o_9Bs/s400/11.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318030851129702994" /></a> Amazon chief Jeff Bezos has gone back to the floor, working in a company warehouse (or '<span style="font-weight:bold;">fulfillment center</span>'...) for a week.<br /><br />According to <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/blog/2009/mar/27/amazon-bezos-kentucky-warehouse-week">The Guardian</a>:<br /><br /><blockquote>And you know what Amazon is like about work in its warehouses. Back in April 2001, the Guardian noted that the retailer had been accused of running "the worst of old economy working practices" by staff in the UK...<br /><br />...the issue surfaced again last Christmas, when the Sunday Times reported that staff at the same location - Marston Gate near Milton Keynes - were required to work seven days a week and "punished" for being ill (where staff with a sick note received a "penalty" point; six points meant dismissal). The quotas for packing - 140 items an hour, which is only slightly below the 5 items per two minutes of 2001. Collecting items for packing can mean walking up to 14 miles during a shift.</blockquote><br />Now, I've been wondering if my <a href="http://rapeandadverbs.blogspot.com/2008/06/tired-of-amazon.html">anti-Amazon</a> stance, which includes total boycott of the store, was a little extreme. This article has firmed my resolve for a little longer. Thanks!Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-82756047904442812012009-03-15T00:10:00.006+00:002009-04-02T21:58:50.203+01:00KLEYPAS DOES WUTHERING HEIGHTS<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIGFNAqoSpOJ5XnFb8tyyvM0of_WX9lcitCmosWtXbSWyiqNVrJbLNH2-afIGXyo8kEV71-Xq-3DfCJ_iExq3_xKxXLlsvf6Qvgii01irncVG3kDXuB4CICO69hsK88R5KFCzAqV6b3zQ/s1600-h/9780749908850.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 254px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIGFNAqoSpOJ5XnFb8tyyvM0of_WX9lcitCmosWtXbSWyiqNVrJbLNH2-afIGXyo8kEV71-Xq-3DfCJ_iExq3_xKxXLlsvf6Qvgii01irncVG3kDXuB4CICO69hsK88R5KFCzAqV6b3zQ/s400/9780749908850.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5313203498689504466" /></a><span style="font-weight:bold;">OR: SEDUCE ME AT SUNRISE</span><br /><br />Passion and angst seethe in equal measure from the tortured hero of Lisa Kleypas’s latest historical. Kev Merripen is a gypsy taken in by the generous and loving Hathaway family when his own tribe left him for dead. Feral, miserable, sullen and instinctively violent, the only light in Kev’s black existence is the beautiful and angelic Winnifred Hathaway. Despite the strong connection between them, Kev is determined to keep their relationship platonic, for Winifred is an invalid. Moreover, Kev hates himself (no low-born Kleypas hero thinks he’s good enough for the pure-bred Kleypas heroine…) and doesn’t consider himself worthy of Win.<br /><br />Of course, Winifred is equally in love with Kev, and so she resolves to get better and win him over. The story takes off when Winifred returns from a two-year sojourn in a French clinic, restored to rude health and towing with her a handsome and admiring doctor…<br /><br />For all that Kev Merripen is a larger than life, angst-ridden hero very much in the mould of Heathcliff, for me, Winifred is the standout character. Despite her delicate frame, fragility and ‘purity of character’– this girl is a total <span style="font-weight:bold;">minx</span>. In the first chapter alone she has maneovered Kev into kissing her and then – seconds later – she’s groping his man-bits like a seasoned pro. Honestly, at times, it’s as though Kev is the delicate virgin.<br /><br />With such a decisive, take-charge heroine and a completely bonkers (though endearingly so) hero, there’s plenty to like here. Let’s say, 85% of this book is excellent and deserves praise for it’s relatively fresh storyline (it’s unusual, I think, in a romance when both characters are completely and intensely in love right from the beginning). On top of that Kleypas is amusing and deft with her plotting - I read this book in one sitting.<br /><br />So, naturally, I’m just going to concentrate on the negatives.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Once in a lifetime love… </span><br /><br />For this story to really work, we have to believe that Kev and Winifred are soulmates – connected powerfully, almost preternaturally. Their passion must be surpassing; one cannot live without the other. This is done wonderfully by Kleypas – when Win is close to death, Kev is pretty much on the brink of ending his own existence, <span style="font-style:italic;">Romeo and Juliet</span> style (see: bonkers). They are both given to grand declarations –<br /><br /><blockquote>“I love you,” she said, wretchedly. “And if I were well, no power on earth could keep me away from you. If I were well, I would take you into my bed, and I would show you as much passion as any woman could -”</blockquote><br /><br />and<br /><br /><blockquote>He jerked her upward. “All the fires of hell could burn for a thousand years and it wouldn’t equal what I feel for you in one minute of the day. I love you so much there is no pleasure in it. Nothing but torment."</blockquote><br /><br />When they kiss and mess around, it’s suitably hot and theatrical. But the effect is diluted considerably by the fact that there are at least <span style="font-weight:bold;">four</span> other couples who feel exactly the same way. How are we supposed to believe in the rabid, all-consuming, once-in-a-lifetime, Heathcliff-on-the-moors type love when everyone’s at it? It becomes a little – yes, pedestrian.<br /><br />And therein lies my second gripe. The recurring couples from previous novels – AKA the Authorial Cash Cow. <br /><br />As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I’m one of those readers who is quite happy to leave a couple to their happy ever after – no drippy epilogue for me, thank you. I’ve enjoyed the journey, but I’m happy to get off the train once everything is neatly tied up. So it’s endlessly boring for me when characters from previous books turn up blissfully in love, often swelling with child, sharing tender looks and having (totally boring) sex, and generally chewing up the scenery – because here’s the thing:<span style="font-weight:bold;"> I don’t care.</span> You’re married, you’re happy, you’re boring. Where’s the drama? Where’s the tension, where’s the story progression?<br /><br />At best, it’s indulgent. At worst, it’s cynical.<br /><br />I’m talking to you, SEP, Laurens, Kleypas, Balogh and [insert culprit of your choice].<br /><br />The only time I would be interested if there was trouble in paradise.<br /><br />Or is it just me?<br /><br />Anyway, a <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+ </span>and a thank you to Ms Kleypas for such a pleasant first step back into romance.Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-5445062308575606862009-03-12T23:30:00.004+00:002009-03-13T00:26:03.210+00:00A CONFESSION<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDllrsO2HX17OOAn7hV-mUATYmn_IJv1i0JGuH9jwg9H4o5HhkOF4q802oaWw2TR7S38ycZN9olA6ypALn8O6UuhFcoQQpk1e0s3Cu6-0LBqb8VH37W_4O_wlswTKWbhz0WoOiV8ITmks/s1600-h/corot12.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 272px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDllrsO2HX17OOAn7hV-mUATYmn_IJv1i0JGuH9jwg9H4o5HhkOF4q802oaWw2TR7S38ycZN9olA6ypALn8O6UuhFcoQQpk1e0s3Cu6-0LBqb8VH37W_4O_wlswTKWbhz0WoOiV8ITmks/s400/corot12.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5312456758977744402" /></a>I have a guilty confession to make. <br /><br />It’s been two months since I read my last romance.<br /><br />I have no explanation for this, except that I’ve been very busy, and perhaps I needed a break from reading. When I do read, I feel like <span style="font-style:italic;">short</span> things, like short stories, or news articles, or better yet, magazines with lots of pictures… (The US <span style="font-style:italic;">Vogue</span> with Michelle Obama, fyi, was deeply disappointing).<br /><br />And, reading less, I haven’t been blogging or doing my regular blog checks. So I feel as though I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. <br /><br />I identify myself as a reader, but I’m not reading anymore. What does that make me?<br /><br />In a panic, I have picked up a couple of books. I’ve got <span style="font-style:italic;">Dreams from my Father</span>, which is very hard to avoid at the moment. I did my best, but it’s my book group’s latest choice, so -. Then there’s <span style="font-style:italic;">2066</span> (I can already tell it’s going to be one of <span style="font-style:italic;">those books,</span> the ones that sit, untouched, on my shelf, forever weighing on my conscience). I’m also determined to finish <span style="font-style:italic;">Watchmen</span> before I go and see the movie… <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">But what about romance?</span><br /><br />There are different kinds of romance readers. I fit into the always-read-it category. Not the other kind, the fully grown adult finding a genre they had hitherto overlooked. I read my first romance was I was indecently young. It has had an indelible effect on my tastes.<br /><br />These days, I find that I’m less interested in following a story from beginning to end; I’m skimming. I look for high concepts, high stakes and lots of gratuitous sex. Naturally, this doesn’t lend itself to quality reading, so I end up feeling more jaded than ever.<br /><br />I feel like the hero in an old school romance: burned out, tired of empty, meaningless sex with women (books) whose names (title) he can't remember the morning after. He just wants the love of a good woman. <span style="font-style:italic;"> I just want to read general fiction.</span><br /><br />Do I need a break? Am I done with this genre? <br /><br />Well, despite all my angsting, I don’t think so. I think I needed this break, but I’ve found my curiousity piquing this past week – Nalini Singh’s latest release sounds intriguing. I agree with Tumperkin’s <a href="http://tumperkin.blogspot.com/2008/11/caressed-by-ice-by-nalini-singh.html">assessment</a> of her Psy books ("Good author. Excellent writer. Not for me"), and never ventured beyond the first. A new series might bring a fresh dynamic between the heroine and hero, which was my biggest gripe with her last one.<br /><br />What about Carolyn Jewel? The premise of <span style="font-style:italic;">Scandal</span> sounds interesting.<br /><br />More promising yet, I picked up a Kleypas today and I’m tentatively looking forward to reading it. (<span style="font-weight:bold;">Don't let me down, Kleypas!</span>)<br /><br />I'm not ready to quit yet, but I wonder if it's possible to reach saturation with a preferred genre. Has it happened to anyone else? Is there a remedy for this, the mother of all reading ruts?Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-10786327492920596472009-01-09T23:05:00.008+00:002009-01-10T16:49:23.667+00:00... AND WHY I LIKED IT ANYWAY<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKhhYdZvGDjxSkb5o8GNtv8BGtUZojC0rbD1MWkZ7y3Di_74hwlawr9SnJoz22QNP5Txw53MfKyNn7KeZKLypUoVhuxtJfqZZ3nR8ZpUg8RbNdkEH0qlSUM0ga7sTF84E0x2F5GNkqzSA/s1600-h/images-1.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 85px; height: 137px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKhhYdZvGDjxSkb5o8GNtv8BGtUZojC0rbD1MWkZ7y3Di_74hwlawr9SnJoz22QNP5Txw53MfKyNn7KeZKLypUoVhuxtJfqZZ3nR8ZpUg8RbNdkEH0qlSUM0ga7sTF84E0x2F5GNkqzSA/s400/images-1.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289442399313983810" /></a>In her excellent <a href="http://thethrillionthpage.blogspot.com/search/label/Kresley%20Cole">post</a>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">CJ</span> observed the hugeness of Kresley Cole’s plots. Everything is so extreme. The stakes are high, the obstacles to HEA are near insurmountable; everything is larger than life, particularly the heroes.<br /><br />Take the first sentence of <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Desires After Dusk</span>:<br /><blockquote>Cadeon Woede came upon the headless bodies of his foster father and brothers first, the three slain in a desperate defense of their home</blockquote>.<br />Naturally, Cade blames himself for the gruesome death of his foster family, and he blames himself (and is blamed by others) for the loss of his brother’s kingdom, now ruled by an evil sorcerer who - naturally, he's evil - brutally oppresses its people. So Cade is like the <span style="font-style:italic;">guiltiest person in the world.</span><br /><br /> To top it off, the only way he can win back the kingdom and redeem himself is by grossly betraying his fated female.<br /><br />Holly the heroine is also <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Vessel</span> (see <a href="http://rapeandadverbs.blogspot.com/2009/01/grumpy-reader-reviews-dark-desires.html">previous post</a>) and she will bear a child of <span style="font-style:italic;">ultimate</span> evil or <span style="font-style:italic;">ultimate</span> good, depending on the father.<br /><br />The extremes don’t stop there. Cade is a larger-than-life, slobbish, hedonistic, philandering rage demon. Holly is a tightly repressed virgin mathematician with OCD. <br /><br />Cade is huge, and he has horns. Holly is a tiny, demure blond.<br /><br />And so on.<br /><br />But it’s all very compelling: of course it is. Mix in a little self-referential humour and most times even a grumpy reader is disarmed. A little.<br /><blockquote>Her brows drew together. “Wait. I’m called a <span style="font-style:italic;">Vessel</span>? Could there be a more derogatory term? By its very definition, a vessel is of no importance compared to its contents… Couldn’t these Lorekind have gone with <span style="font-style:italic;">baby maker</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">bun oven</span>?<br /><br />“I lobbied for <span style="font-style:italic;">cargo hold</span>, but just lost out.”</blockquote> <br />Reading the Immortals is like going on an old fashioned adventure: there are quests, and magical swords and maps marked with X; there are talismans and ancient curses and journeys to the outer reaches of the world (okay, Alaska). <br /><br />In another nod-and-wink moment, Holly likens her predicament to being in a computer game (“Level one, defeat pervert. Level two, engage army of revenants…")<br /><br />Throw in some wacky side characters, like the soothsayer Valkyrie Nix (or, Nucking Futs Nix), who enters the story with characteristic élan:<br /><blockquote>Half an hour had dragged by when a red Bentley pulled up behind them, hopping the curb in an alignment-wrecking jounce…. There were dings in the body, mud all over the tires, smoke tendrils rising from the hood, and at least two bullet holes. A Garfield doll was stuck to the rear window.</blockquote><br />That Garfield makes the description gold. <br /><br />What you get is a perfect cupcake* of a story; light and fluffy with a dramatic swirl of icing on top. Just don't think too hard about the ingredients.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4IZK1_DRlhta2ToN7IRyQihpzyPn-Gf6n6TrNMcqvaLaBidV9kkFzvJ-8dnJmGyXY-pGcpvt0BhSAnkrTFOQdRPjc3LCzkLaQyhU1j1a0BIRlF8zxjXJH2K356MdBgbFXtNdgexp-Z8k/s1600-h/vegan-cupcake-coffee-bean-706780.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 302px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4IZK1_DRlhta2ToN7IRyQihpzyPn-Gf6n6TrNMcqvaLaBidV9kkFzvJ-8dnJmGyXY-pGcpvt0BhSAnkrTFOQdRPjc3LCzkLaQyhU1j1a0BIRlF8zxjXJH2K356MdBgbFXtNdgexp-Z8k/s400/vegan-cupcake-coffee-bean-706780.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289451852192236130" /></a><br /><br />A solid <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span> for <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Desires After Dusk</span>, though all my points in the post below are still there, niggling. I suppose there’s a lot to be said for charm and slapstick, and a personal chemistry with the writing that can make allowances for all kinds of wrong.<br /><br />*The cupcake analogy might be flawed, but I spent half an hour looking at cupcakes on the internet. <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2009/jan/08/baking-cupcakes">Who</a> <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2009/jan/08/best-cupcakes-pictures?picture=341463934">knew</a>?<br /><br />Oooh: <a href="http://cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com/search/label/alien%20cupcakes">Alien cupcakes</a>!<br /><br />Is anyone else hungry?Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-87033196531728558322009-01-08T23:34:00.006+00:002009-01-09T00:03:41.331+00:00A GRUMPY READER REVIEWS DARK DESIRES AFTER DUSK, BY KRESLEY COLE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipHXGL7sSWfKW0thpuB0gsQoxaau2M6lnlhuVlu0yDGb6D8uXLiY1MDgI-yg4DvwO-PQp4V4_ALEXODRxHOVmzecInWIwox2d93vF0RSYVMHTUj5chORHm4SNi0EnoFDiaFZOdZ9sKucU/s1600-h/images-1.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 85px; height: 137px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipHXGL7sSWfKW0thpuB0gsQoxaau2M6lnlhuVlu0yDGb6D8uXLiY1MDgI-yg4DvwO-PQp4V4_ALEXODRxHOVmzecInWIwox2d93vF0RSYVMHTUj5chORHm4SNi0EnoFDiaFZOdZ9sKucU/s400/images-1.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289073795853591714" /></a>Have you ever read a book in a bad tempered sort of way, picking out faults and trying very hard not to be won over?<br /><br />I’ve been doing that a lot recently, and the latest victim of my reading blues was Kresley Cole. This was particularly sad as I truly enjoyed her <span style="font-style:italic;">Immortals After Dark</span> series last year; I even <span style="font-style:italic;">glommed</span>. <br /><br />What set me off (other than a generally grumpy disposition)? The Glossary of Terms preceding the story. In it, <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Vessel</span> is described thus<br /><blockquote>At the cusp of each Ascension, a chosen female will beget a child who will become a warrior of either ultimate evil or of ultimate good –</blockquote><br />(gah!)<br /><blockquote>- depending on the father</blockquote><br />(Double gah!)<br /><br />Way to strip the female of even the faintest whiff of autonomy. <br /><br />Riled, I continued on and sure enough poor Holly the heroine/ vessel is summarily stripped naked and placed on a ceremonial altar by evil demons, so that she might be raped/ impregnated. In the first twenty pages. Later that night, Holly’s bare legs are ogled on by the hero, who admires their smooth, sleek and toned perfection.<br /><br />(Yeah, I thought sourly. If I were unexpectedly kidnapped by demons and stripped naked, my legs too would be smooth and sleek and worthy of admiration. Except, no, they wouldn’t.)<br /><br />Cade, the ne’er do well demon hero veers towards the obnoxious. Any guy who ends the majority of his sentences with a ‘yeah?’ would probably drive me nuts, but then he has the temerity to label an amorous lady bar owner ‘a slag’ to dispel Holly’s suspicions, which – hello, if anyone’s a slag, it would be the unrepentantly lecherous and horny Cade, whose reputation as a man-slut precedes him.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">But it’s different for boys.</span><br /><br />Cade also has the cheek to say:<br /><blockquote>“For the record, male Lorekind have higher opinions of females than human males do. The playing field’s more equal in our world.”</blockquote><br />This coming from a breed of Demon who ‘claims his female’ by turning fully into his demon form and biting her into submission… plus, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Vessel</span>, anyone?<br /><br />The other thing that really irked was all the rampant consumption that goes on between the covers of an Immortals novel. Burbury, million dollar sports cars, Ipods, Wiis, Bentleys, and expensive silk and lace undergarments that are the staple of any self-respecting virgin heroine’s attire. <br /><br />I found myself hoping Holly and Cade are affected by the global financial crisis in a brutal way. (Also tiring: nauseating articles about how the mega-rich are <span style="font-style:italic;">really glum</span> about losing their money.)<br /><br />And while I’m on my nit-picking rampage – why does Holly have to be <span style="font-style:italic;">delicate</span>?<br /><br />What exactly is a ‘masculine jaw’?<br /><br />What is a ‘feminine scent’?<br /><br />Grumpy Romance reader will stop there.<br /><br />In tomorrow’s post: why I loved <span style="font-style:italic;">Dark Desires After Dusk</span> despite everything.Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-38866328828234601422008-11-16T18:28:00.006+00:002008-11-16T18:56:36.351+00:00ULTIMATE WEAPON, BY SHANNON McKENNA<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNnuXNsoAKrNS7d-8EHH_MXrS-klstCVhEnbO8LpUs2X19kmC4ZL2I7y7chh4DHV083PJK76X1EJ6Hm6Dviyl0GIwwnMKtBwjCOiOZ5k39RP8SBX7wAbOvHo-7JFxqGljLfNeveXfcixM/s1600-h/images-1.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 85px; height: 129px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNnuXNsoAKrNS7d-8EHH_MXrS-klstCVhEnbO8LpUs2X19kmC4ZL2I7y7chh4DHV083PJK76X1EJ6Hm6Dviyl0GIwwnMKtBwjCOiOZ5k39RP8SBX7wAbOvHo-7JFxqGljLfNeveXfcixM/s400/images-1.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269330951915009682" /></a> When I stated my intention to read and review the latest McKenna, despite my <a href="http://rapeandadverbs.blogspot.com/2008/06/extreme-danger-by-shannon-mckenna.html">troubled</a> relationship with this author’s previous work, it was suggested that I might end up reading ‘<span style="font-style:italic;">with extra suspicion</span>,’ or ‘<span style="font-style:italic;">looking harder for the wrongness.</span>’<br /><br />Guilty. Despite my protestations, that is exactly what I’m doing. See, I’ve read up to page 71, and - most un-Mckenna like - the hero (Val) and heroine (Tamara) haven’t even met. I mean, sure, Val has inappropriately purloined video footage of Tamara naked, and gotten suitably worked up over it (there should be a drinking game), and there has been some disturbing Skanky-Villain-Sex, and a most satisfying torture/execution of Random Henchman No. 1 (more to follow), and the evil guys (there are two sets of insane villains in this one - neat) are so over the top Eeevil they positively cast the last lot (the child ‘organ pirates’) into the shade.<br /><br />And yet... and yet, I'm not hooked/ enraged/ cackling with glee and self-hate. <br /><br />Is it because Val is supposed to be a cold blooded killer, without conscience, personality or desire - an efficient operative - and yet everything he does belies this? Despite constantly reaching for his analytical calm, employing his mental ‘data processing technique,’ Val has so far been jerked around by everyone he's met.<br /><br />As for Tamara, deadly assassin, seductress and unrepentant badass in previous appearances - well. Tamara has a developmentally challenged adopted daughter, and nightmares of a past in which she had to bury her mother and baby sister. And nightmares, and crying jags. And endlessly long inner dialogues in which she questions her suitability to mother.<br /><br />It’s been 71 pages and no one has even mentioned any ‘yummy girl juice.’ Could it be... am I disappointed?!?<br /><br />Actually, no. A little bored, though.Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-20350847470014276332008-10-20T23:14:00.003+01:002008-10-20T23:23:48.336+01:00WAS THERE TOO MUCH SEX AND PROFANITY IN THE HBO PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE?To those of you who give not one fig, apologies, but this was far too funny not to share.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Warning</span> - profanities galore (including one inventive turn of phrase I've never heard before; but then, that's HBO for you).<br /><br /><embed src="http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/common/assets/videoplayer/flvplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="400" height="355" flashvars="file=http://www.theonion.com/content/xml/88450/video&autostart=false&image=http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/HBO_DEBATE_article.jpg&bufferlength=3&embedded=true&title=Was%20There%20Too%20Much%20Sex%20And%20Profanity%20In%20The%20HBO%20Presidential%20Debate%3F"></embed><br/><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/video/was_there_too_much_sex_and?utm_source=embedded_video"></a>Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-36733155586347100682008-10-13T23:40:00.009+01:002008-10-15T01:40:51.590+01:00BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER "C"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhskAYK1siMZEJgnWtrw9OeMOdy06deRiXNv4wMXg9b_F9gVYmjfefsJ5YbGALilxFGquVe-uWQZa0Vrx9v1F0RT2SOFl3fZATRGTUhcdRnNND7vVUDPxzEvlJBVHyq80aGum_J2XBbiUY/s1600-h/V01indexC.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhskAYK1siMZEJgnWtrw9OeMOdy06deRiXNv4wMXg9b_F9gVYmjfefsJ5YbGALilxFGquVe-uWQZa0Vrx9v1F0RT2SOFl3fZATRGTUhcdRnNND7vVUDPxzEvlJBVHyq80aGum_J2XBbiUY/s200/V01indexC.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256772719505400130" /></a><br />Many moons ago, I agreed to take part in a meme over at <a href="http://tumperkin.blogspot.com/2008/09/can-i-have-p-please-bob-snigger.html">Tumperkin's</a>. This involved getting a random letter from Tumperkin (in this case, the letter <span style="font-weight:bold;">‘C’</span>), then thinking up five fictional characters whose names begin with that letter.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Easy</span>, I thought. <span style="font-style:italic;">Easy peasy</span>.<br /><br />Not so much, as it turns out.<br /><br />I ran out of steam after two. Strange how the names of so many romance heroes and heroines are totally interchangeable: I couldn’t think of any. Below, I’ve listed two romantic characters from the classics. I guess they’re classics for a reason, no?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Cyrano de Bergerac</span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTJk-AqpK3W3a1xelwQIq6zzTFVg7RTyK3qRAEXfZBISsQQaxBxrj_hwsV-owKa3C-AQunrtN8-yLCoTZsdy6i0unw5YjDcJKxP1EQLZizGujgv7loJ_1ZKyEflrN_-ygUOL5ZqCGi7NE/s1600-h/68653-004-8D386BE1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTJk-AqpK3W3a1xelwQIq6zzTFVg7RTyK3qRAEXfZBISsQQaxBxrj_hwsV-owKa3C-AQunrtN8-yLCoTZsdy6i0unw5YjDcJKxP1EQLZizGujgv7loJ_1ZKyEflrN_-ygUOL5ZqCGi7NE/s200/68653-004-8D386BE1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256772827227259186" /></a> Ah, poor Cyrano. Witty, smart, creative, sensitive, dueler extraordinaire - and in possession of a large, a huge, nose that completely inhibits him. Believing himself to be hideous and unlovable, he is too scared to admit his love for the beautiful Roxane.<br /><br />This story has been done to death by Hollywood, in various permutations (including Steve Martin’s <span style="font-style:italic;">Roxane</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">The Truth about Cats and Dogs</span>) but the play written by the French poet Edmund Rostand in 1897 came to my attention when I found this quote -<br /><blockquote>A kiss is a rosy dot over the ‘i’ of loving</blockquote><br />This is the passage that the above quote came from. I think you’ll agree it’s a whole lot better. (Cyrano is pretending to be his handsome friend, Christian, who is also in love with Roxane).<br /><br /><br />CYRANO:<br /> A kiss, when all is said,--what is it?<br /> An oath that's ratified,--a sealed promise,<br /> A heart's avowal claiming confirmation,--<br /> A rose-dot on the 'i' of 'adoration,'--<br /> A secret that to mouth, not ear, is whispered,--<br /> Brush of a bee's wing, that makes time eternal,--<br /> Communion perfumed like the spring's wild flowers,--<br /> The heart's relieving in the heart's outbreathing,<br /> When to the lips the soul's flood rises, brimming!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Catherine Earnshaw, Wuthering Heights</span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiapmhfdUaH4i34oa8fSkq3jK9CxZQbBll8DveeaVl5JuDaYOSJKTeejpoNAodcwKxh8Nc48rt8kDmkIg-pJIb13irfo3BtcgCwTrEjtFa5PgoT9Ap3ldi_eDsHtEzKFr0Ttbois_jI4U/s1600-h/0192833545.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiapmhfdUaH4i34oa8fSkq3jK9CxZQbBll8DveeaVl5JuDaYOSJKTeejpoNAodcwKxh8Nc48rt8kDmkIg-pJIb13irfo3BtcgCwTrEjtFa5PgoT9Ap3ldi_eDsHtEzKFr0Ttbois_jI4U/s200/0192833545.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256773002058380226" /></a>I can’t say anything about this that hasn’t been said before, but I loved Wuthering Heights when I read it as a teenager, then read it again when I was older and wondered what crack Emily Bronte was on when she wrote it. Its a great classic for teenagers, actually, and a great romance, too, disregarding the death and tragedy of it all. I think Kinsale has a bit of the Emily Bronte crack in her, and there are some Kleypas heroes that might fit the Heathcliff mould.<br /><br />Here’s a snippet from the mouth of the delightful Catherine.<br /><blockquote>"It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."</blockquote><br />Ah, romance.<br /><br />(Feel free to suggest all the obvious C's I've missed)Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-84794696004698512032008-09-28T21:51:00.006+01:002008-09-28T23:01:13.225+01:00CATCHING UP<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_jjGqQoyS-iObFi2vFJtZTd_E_n15jsqppZ5KcMV4qGH1vVACdJ0gtUcVG5OgpdaxsxS01Y7kaLfc7W7W-S1rd4lrBL7jaWjpCTtpkk0pNrfJzIwguG3Ha1jxEjiDpVIz7fKvW7XQ90I/s1600-h/0000036415_20061212120028.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_jjGqQoyS-iObFi2vFJtZTd_E_n15jsqppZ5KcMV4qGH1vVACdJ0gtUcVG5OgpdaxsxS01Y7kaLfc7W7W-S1rd4lrBL7jaWjpCTtpkk0pNrfJzIwguG3Ha1jxEjiDpVIz7fKvW7XQ90I/s320/0000036415_20061212120028.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5251192716254580690" /></a>I’ve been underground these last couple of days, watching season three of <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://www.cwtv.com/shows/supernatural">Supernatural</a></span>, emerging periodically for fresh air, then going back to ground. After the atrocity of season 2 (with a season ender that was worse, even, than the infamous <a href="http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/supernatural/route_666.php">racist monster truck</a> episode), I vowed never to watch the show again, no matter how cute the boys - see left - and stuck to my guns for all of three months... until I saw the season 3 box set on sale. Who can resist a bargain? A bargain with cute boys? (see left) Not I. <br /><br />So where season one was spooky and scary (I have a low fear threshold), and season two was lame and emo, season three was <span style="font-weight:bold;">GORE-TASTIC</span>. For real. We are talking forks in eyes, decapitation by garrote, evil, demonically possessed children, evisceration, torture and a really bloody death by electric saw. Eek. And cool.<br /><br />Better yet, it seemed as though the writing improved, the storylines got tighter, with a more comfortable tie-in to the overall season arc (Dean selling his soul to save his brother’s, leaving him a year to live). Jared Paladecki, who plays the younger brother Sam, is the weaker actor, and I think he’s improved tremendously. No more strange facial twitches to signify emotional upheaval/ hard thought. Which is good.<br /><br />Overall, the show seems to have a better idea of where it’s going, with a mythology that puts me in mind of Meljean Brook’s <a href="http://www.meljeanbrook.com/books.html">Demons and Angels series</a> (The Guardians, rather). <br /><br />Anyhoot, amongst the better writers of the show is one Sera Gamble. From past interviews, I know she <a href="http://www.nerve.com/fiction/gamble/bluestar/">writes stories</a>, and I remembered that the last time I visited her site, I found a link to a <a href="http://www.nerve.com/fiction/benderaimee/off/ ">short story</a> I liked, called <span style="font-style:italic;">Off</span>, by Aimee Bender. <br /><br />The story is about a woman, an heiress, attending a party held by an old high school friend. The woman has a goal for the evening; to kiss three different men:<span style="font-style:italic;"> ‘one with black hair, one with red hair, and the third blond.</span>’ As she goes about fulfilling her mission, a confrontation with an ex leaves her momentarily shaken, confronting for a moment her life and her actions.<br /><br />This character is hard to like (though I do like her); she is disdainful of the other guests, of people in general. She is lonely and cold, contrary and perhaps a little damaged. Upon discovering the other guests' coats and purses, she thinks - <span style="font-style:italic;">I am rich but I consider stealing some of the stuff because they are so trusting, these people, and I feel like wrecking their trust.</span><br /><br />There are so many things I like about this story, the landscapes the protagonist used to paint, with ‘something bad in it’ and the teacher who never noticed. The dog she called called Off, and her anger towards other women. <br /><br />Read it!<br /><br />And while I’m talking about difficult women, I might as well mention the book I finished recently, <span style="font-style:italic;">The Awakening</span> by Kate Chopin, which I enjoyed tremendously. <br /><br />So if you're hankering after some early American feminist writing... <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">In romance related news</span><br /><br />The last couple of romances I've read have left me feeling mildly dissatisfied. I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed one, but I'm going to mention a couple that rose above the average mark. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Never Romance a Rake</span>, Liz Carlyle. I've enjoyed this series, and I think Carlyle is a great writer, but she's also hugely frustrating. As with NRaR, she sets up brilliantly tortured, complex characters, with really gripping conflicts, and then... she pulls her punches. And I end up feeling a little cheated. I can't really explain it better than that. This is a solid <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span> for me, but it should have been more. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Miss Match</span> by Jo Leigh (Harlequin Blaze). Jane <a href="http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2008/09/12/harlequin-lightning-reviews-4/">reviewed this</a> in one of her lightening reviews, and I find myself in agreement with her assessment. A pretty decent beauty and the beast romance (the heroine is no beast, just no where near in the same league as the hero), with a strong female lead and very sympathetic characters. The hero's character arc was not entirely plausible, and the heroine's family was completely cartoonish, but it still proved to be an absorbing read. I don't read categories as a rule, but I think I'd read another Leigh. Another <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw9Z5U1nOpPm3g4Iigy4eGe0VaDG0Yr4Evu1YvUJX9dWP8l29vOQFsSjzZymWxQMkFWS-okB24NA7vRZ1D8QWyDO1zJs4btI2W4EWf057a4ErFAObJAxAGgK5p9Nn6E8fJkkesXyfxJ-Y/s1600-h/images-1.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw9Z5U1nOpPm3g4Iigy4eGe0VaDG0Yr4Evu1YvUJX9dWP8l29vOQFsSjzZymWxQMkFWS-okB24NA7vRZ1D8QWyDO1zJs4btI2W4EWf057a4ErFAObJAxAGgK5p9Nn6E8fJkkesXyfxJ-Y/s200/images-1.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5251193546225245762" /></a><span style="font-style:italic;">Courting Midnight</span> by Emma Holly. Having read the other two in this series I decided to give this a go. The only thing holding me back had been the horrible cover; my Sony reader took care of that. For a Holly (and I'm a fan) this was rather tepid fare. The romance was nice, the writing was nice (channeling the regency vibe I thought. Holly has a very good ear for dialogue and always captures the right tone for her various series). However, I was utterly underwhelmed. <span style="font-weight:bold;">C+</span><br /><br />To end on a positive note, I found in my possession an old-ish Lisa Klepas I don't remember buying - <span style="font-style:italic;">Scandal in Spring</span>, the last in her Wallflower quartet. I'm no Kleypas fangirl (for the most part, I don't get the fuss), but I enjoyed it tremendously. It even made me laugh out loud in one scene, when the hero is playing a very silly parlour game against his inclination. When did romance novels lose their sense of humour? I can't remember the last time I chuckled my way through a good historical - any suggestions? (And S<span style="font-style:italic;">candal in Spring</span> gets a very glowing <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span>)<br /><br />I'm embarking on the Joanna Bourne express and won't be back until I've got an opinion on <span style="font-style:italic;">The Spymaster's Lady</span>. About bloody time, don't you think? I might be the last person in the blogsphere. I <span style="font-style:italic;">can't wait</span> to weigh in with my opinion. From what I can tell, opinion is mostly favourable, with one or two voices of dissent. Bourne is kind enough to link to these reviews, both positive and negative, on her <a href="http://jobourne.blogspot.com/">blog</a>, which I think is very cool of her.Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-25046913970922746532008-09-03T21:44:00.008+01:002008-09-04T00:33:26.985+01:00MY NEW TOYOh yes, at long last, I can consider myself a member of that oh-so-cool crew of e-book reading, techno-babble spouting, device-toting vixens (you know who you are). For I have in my hot little mitts, my very own SONY READER.<br /><br />BEHOLD:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX1xtu2viT5439dbUPzLr1PjFKj4dimSIXL8aQHp9lRWJlHaYjyxtTiGQhGlZH8EeBqHYWa2yRcUj9bB5jxIIjDK8nWnIdyTTbRsAKLRagSmPyxLsb5uGVWdIQhLNV3Z2dflinIVAjXV8/s1600-h/100_0656_1.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX1xtu2viT5439dbUPzLr1PjFKj4dimSIXL8aQHp9lRWJlHaYjyxtTiGQhGlZH8EeBqHYWa2yRcUj9bB5jxIIjDK8nWnIdyTTbRsAKLRagSmPyxLsb5uGVWdIQhLNV3Z2dflinIVAjXV8/s200/100_0656_1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241941411325915170" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUfTGWQSOmvF6MEk4LzlBQCBk-xb5M3zc2ygWIF39AaMQvupsOMm5xt_bk0HDfrLIdQ-o41g6YF7E-enweiIvil1kSVzHzYJIiWkDUEkfNKwGPQPqaEjsdYBwSVj5qkhdiF1cZDmgcnw/s1600-h/100_0645_1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUfTGWQSOmvF6MEk4LzlBQCBk-xb5M3zc2ygWIF39AaMQvupsOMm5xt_bk0HDfrLIdQ-o41g6YF7E-enweiIvil1kSVzHzYJIiWkDUEkfNKwGPQPqaEjsdYBwSVj5qkhdiF1cZDmgcnw/s200/100_0645_1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241936873723448498" /></a><br /><br /><br />It is a thing of beauty. I have spent the evening in earnest contemplation of the manual, and all the advice available on-line for getting the Reader to a state of Mac compatibility. Which I've done (phew). All that remains is the actual <span style="font-style:italic;">reading</span>. <br /><br />Alongside the 100 free classics Sony were kind enough to send me (<span style="font-style:italic;">The Sonnets</span>! <span style="font-style:italic;">Crime and Punishment</span>! The complete Jane Austen...) I've got a couple of e-books I've been holding off on until the arrival of this, my precious, my baby, my Reader...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Rumors</span>, Anna Godbersen<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Dark Desires after Dusk</span>, Kresley Cole<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Never Romance a Rake</span>, Liz Carlyle<br /><br />Just to conclude - Woot!Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-20584121505469477872008-08-31T00:36:00.000+01:002008-09-01T01:11:47.842+01:00THE LUXE, BY ANNA GODBERSEN<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMvmBFhtqNy3aq38T10_8brsWZ-HAO3gbciQ1sR257AG7ajw_tZ3S3EUk5VyW4bDHmfcQg_XR9wR07FnUVeISs2V5mivu2JhoF4-_7Qa5LtSk8YJbV7gq-rHu7JSD0WASpKK6NuRPeo_4/s1600-h/luxe.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMvmBFhtqNy3aq38T10_8brsWZ-HAO3gbciQ1sR257AG7ajw_tZ3S3EUk5VyW4bDHmfcQg_XR9wR07FnUVeISs2V5mivu2JhoF4-_7Qa5LtSk8YJbV7gq-rHu7JSD0WASpKK6NuRPeo_4/s320/luxe.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232299415875630066" /></a> I've just had a lousy week (make that a <span style="font-weight:bold;">lousy month</span>, with no foreseeable end in sight). Precisely the time when you need a really good, escapist read.<br /><br />Which is why this book captured my attention in 'Smiths. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"All of the glitz of The O.C. but with bigger frocks and more dashing boys"</span> cried the endorsement from Elle.<br /><br />Hmm, I thought, pausing by the bookshelf. I did love The O.C (seasons 1 and 4) and I love big frocks... <br /><br />I turned it over to peruse the meager blurb:<br /><br /><blockquote>Imagine if you will,<br /> <span style="font-style:italic;">New York City, 1899...</span><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Society's elite</span>: the glamour, the grandeur, the glittering parties, the most handsome beaux, the most beautiful debutantes... the rich girl, the humble boy, the forbidden love, the stolen glances, the <span style="font-weight:bold;">whispers</span>, the <span style="font-weight:bold;">scandal</span>, the <span style="font-weight:bold;">mystery</span>, the <span style="font-weight:bold;">revenge</span>.</blockquote><br /><br />Ah, <span style="font-style:italic;">perfect</span>.<br /><br />The concept - Wharton meets Gossip Girl - appeared to be targeting the Young Adult market. No problem. As I mentioned, escapism was key, and nothing beats the angst of a good YA romance.<br /><br />Did it do the trick?<br /><br />Well, yes. Sometimes, a disconcertingly large font, two dimensional characters, transparent plotting, pretty dresses and soap operatic levels of melodrama can work their magic on a mentally tired and restless reader. <br /><br />So in the spirit of the novel - which is ridiculous, let's be clear - I'm going to do a dramatic review. (Props to <a href="http://thedairiburger.wordpress.com/">this site</a>, for the idea).<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Luxe</span>: a review in four parts<br /> <br />Cast of Characters<br /><br />Elizabeth Swann<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s1600-h/cast5.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s200/cast5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101766526438850" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Mama Swann<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMzK0KPKUSjWQtBZ9V0H0kbAlQwNPjIbc2Br4KCVxMAdzi6049Ad-9TKC71IdBDtfHk79VHDVKmiZZPIU6gSOG-4YaHYxDMiWeBTouueP52W1NnbhIxghpr0R3TQtyjwYWysMKly94Lk/s1600-h/images-2.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMzK0KPKUSjWQtBZ9V0H0kbAlQwNPjIbc2Br4KCVxMAdzi6049Ad-9TKC71IdBDtfHk79VHDVKmiZZPIU6gSOG-4YaHYxDMiWeBTouueP52W1NnbhIxghpr0R3TQtyjwYWysMKly94Lk/s200/images-2.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101977179496082" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Little Sister Swann (Diana)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s1600-h/images-3.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s200/images-3.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102246179281698" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Will, the poor but *OMG Totally Hot* Stableboy<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s1600-h/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s200/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102504480804898" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Lena, Elizabeth's sullen maid<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s1600-h/emma02.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s200/emma02.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240115424492888450" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Henry Schoonmaker "The baddest bad boy in New York...'<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Papa Henry<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRBtDpO4X2RADUt2cHWQB1ZlWVuOME55W6q1ssvdivjGl4GRJMDkFr9jUm9Q-Jaga3XmVyyiI6bQoHllVOQN1oDzRnbN0XMhDCKrvIhz-K59f6n71KCtDfaGwEjkdGLTB86Q9whk_ccU/s1600-h/images-4.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRBtDpO4X2RADUt2cHWQB1ZlWVuOME55W6q1ssvdivjGl4GRJMDkFr9jUm9Q-Jaga3XmVyyiI6bQoHllVOQN1oDzRnbN0XMhDCKrvIhz-K59f6n71KCtDfaGwEjkdGLTB86Q9whk_ccU/s200/images-4.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240108446640082722" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Evil Brunette, Penelope Hayes<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s1600-h/images.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s200/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103075526805746" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Her Sidekick, the gay BFF<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPS2x5o_nOKOIwOxjfQpAHwik6b80bByiSELGOgmxjeD-dxrvRVQLPda9ML2KygEzuB88oG9YAVVFA1tw6VWncBEMIMei7WJF_lgpXLiAvRaODwD5q1d3MepufrbjyajQyWFfPBPC8Pys/s1600-h/images-5.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPS2x5o_nOKOIwOxjfQpAHwik6b80bByiSELGOgmxjeD-dxrvRVQLPda9ML2KygEzuB88oG9YAVVFA1tw6VWncBEMIMei7WJF_lgpXLiAvRaODwD5q1d3MepufrbjyajQyWFfPBPC8Pys/s200/images-5.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103332301025266" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Greek Chorus of Elizabeth's Male Admirers<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1FQo5WsaXo28jnqcg2YDwhU32pkCBBksmkVw8QPtVzu1z1lhPhsMkY8PPxwJb_Q4w3z6KM3Jvo-vp_apGUZWQF_9dG3Umowx5-IpSVkS55zsol6gURtSYwmDw-bxCOurFQunLvzPRKPc/s1600-h/00514430c0c.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1FQo5WsaXo28jnqcg2YDwhU32pkCBBksmkVw8QPtVzu1z1lhPhsMkY8PPxwJb_Q4w3z6KM3Jvo-vp_apGUZWQF_9dG3Umowx5-IpSVkS55zsol6gURtSYwmDw-bxCOurFQunLvzPRKPc/s200/00514430c0c.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103626649198546" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Pictoral representation of New York society c. 1899<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiacs735un0u6hDLiR4DXlGI4OA0d4Zcnp-L2MBHguEZh_62RI-bQ2BzyFjmk_M93rjKaHZktXtoZ7ZfB014-zKPXMqSLL2Jd3TI17m5Q9FPt7jDGk_yRPCdaQ-pT1wwwuP8CX_MWasecU/s1600-h/images-6.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiacs735un0u6hDLiR4DXlGI4OA0d4Zcnp-L2MBHguEZh_62RI-bQ2BzyFjmk_M93rjKaHZktXtoZ7ZfB014-zKPXMqSLL2Jd3TI17m5Q9FPt7jDGk_yRPCdaQ-pT1wwwuP8CX_MWasecU/s200/images-6.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103803647898882" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">PART 1: ELIZABETH'S FUNERAL</span> <br /> <br /> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiacs735un0u6hDLiR4DXlGI4OA0d4Zcnp-L2MBHguEZh_62RI-bQ2BzyFjmk_M93rjKaHZktXtoZ7ZfB014-zKPXMqSLL2Jd3TI17m5Q9FPt7jDGk_yRPCdaQ-pT1wwwuP8CX_MWasecU/s1600-h/images-6.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiacs735un0u6hDLiR4DXlGI4OA0d4Zcnp-L2MBHguEZh_62RI-bQ2BzyFjmk_M93rjKaHZktXtoZ7ZfB014-zKPXMqSLL2Jd3TI17m5Q9FPt7jDGk_yRPCdaQ-pT1wwwuP8CX_MWasecU/s200/images-6.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103803647898882" /></a><br />What a tragedy that someone as young and beautiful and pure and good as Elizabeth should die under TRAGIC and MYSTERIOUS circumstances<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1FQo5WsaXo28jnqcg2YDwhU32pkCBBksmkVw8QPtVzu1z1lhPhsMkY8PPxwJb_Q4w3z6KM3Jvo-vp_apGUZWQF_9dG3Umowx5-IpSVkS55zsol6gURtSYwmDw-bxCOurFQunLvzPRKPc/s1600-h/00514430c0c.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1FQo5WsaXo28jnqcg2YDwhU32pkCBBksmkVw8QPtVzu1z1lhPhsMkY8PPxwJb_Q4w3z6KM3Jvo-vp_apGUZWQF_9dG3Umowx5-IpSVkS55zsol6gURtSYwmDw-bxCOurFQunLvzPRKPc/s200/00514430c0c.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103626649198546" /></a><br />Oh, how we loved Elizabeth. She was so beautiful and pure and kind and good.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiacs735un0u6hDLiR4DXlGI4OA0d4Zcnp-L2MBHguEZh_62RI-bQ2BzyFjmk_M93rjKaHZktXtoZ7ZfB014-zKPXMqSLL2Jd3TI17m5Q9FPt7jDGk_yRPCdaQ-pT1wwwuP8CX_MWasecU/s1600-h/images-6.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiacs735un0u6hDLiR4DXlGI4OA0d4Zcnp-L2MBHguEZh_62RI-bQ2BzyFjmk_M93rjKaHZktXtoZ7ZfB014-zKPXMqSLL2Jd3TI17m5Q9FPt7jDGk_yRPCdaQ-pT1wwwuP8CX_MWasecU/s200/images-6.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103803647898882" /></a><br />But why is Elizabeth's younger sister smiling?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">DUN DUN DUN</span><br /> <br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">PART TWO: PENELOPE'S BALL, 5 WEEKS EARLIER</span><br /> <br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMzK0KPKUSjWQtBZ9V0H0kbAlQwNPjIbc2Br4KCVxMAdzi6049Ad-9TKC71IdBDtfHk79VHDVKmiZZPIU6gSOG-4YaHYxDMiWeBTouueP52W1NnbhIxghpr0R3TQtyjwYWysMKly94Lk/s1600-h/images-2.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMzK0KPKUSjWQtBZ9V0H0kbAlQwNPjIbc2Br4KCVxMAdzi6049Ad-9TKC71IdBDtfHk79VHDVKmiZZPIU6gSOG-4YaHYxDMiWeBTouueP52W1NnbhIxghpr0R3TQtyjwYWysMKly94Lk/s200/images-2.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101977179496082" /></a><br />Elizabeth, I want you to dance with all the rich boys, however repulsive you might find them. Yes, even that cross-eyed Percy with his poisonous breath and groping hands.<br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s1600-h/cast5.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s200/cast5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101766526438850" /></a><br />Because I am a doormat with no personality or strength of character, I will do as you say, even though I love Will, the totally hot but poor stableboy<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s1600-h/images.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s200/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103075526805746" /></a><br />My ball is a success! Very soon my plan to conquer New York society will be complete, and I will be more popular than Elizabeth Swann, who is my best friend though I secretly despise her. I will marry Henry, the baddest boy in New York, and together we will rule the city! <span style="font-weight:bold;">MUHAHAHA!</span><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPS2x5o_nOKOIwOxjfQpAHwik6b80bByiSELGOgmxjeD-dxrvRVQLPda9ML2KygEzuB88oG9YAVVFA1tw6VWncBEMIMei7WJF_lgpXLiAvRaODwD5q1d3MepufrbjyajQyWFfPBPC8Pys/s1600-h/images-5.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPS2x5o_nOKOIwOxjfQpAHwik6b80bByiSELGOgmxjeD-dxrvRVQLPda9ML2KygEzuB88oG9YAVVFA1tw6VWncBEMIMei7WJF_lgpXLiAvRaODwD5q1d3MepufrbjyajQyWFfPBPC8Pys/s200/images-5.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103332301025266" /></a><br />You go, girl<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s1600-h/images-3.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s200/images-3.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102246179281698" /></a> *smoking ciggerette* Sigh, I am far too cool and unconventional for this place. Kiss me, random handsome stranger!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh7a2IrOHJl788YIlcF41v1Ov2ORvSnaod0RpNqQz3mG9NCORHbKy2HImxkgP-UMMTqi3sYj1A_xOH9NkAxd31SEYjfA2ydaC_oZghMGg370qBrFiCvgPUgm0b2BfRL5PaWyowBCMmLY0/s1600-h/nate-archibald-photo.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh7a2IrOHJl788YIlcF41v1Ov2ORvSnaod0RpNqQz3mG9NCORHbKy2HImxkgP-UMMTqi3sYj1A_xOH9NkAxd31SEYjfA2ydaC_oZghMGg370qBrFiCvgPUgm0b2BfRL5PaWyowBCMmLY0/s200/nate-archibald-photo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240128139992323314" /></a><br />Okay.<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s1600-h/images-3.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s200/images-3.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102246179281698" /></a><br />Nope. Nothing. Will I <span style="font-style:italic;">ever</span> fall in love?!<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">LATER THAT NIGHT</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a> <br />Life is so monotonous and dull. I need a drink<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRBtDpO4X2RADUt2cHWQB1ZlWVuOME55W6q1ssvdivjGl4GRJMDkFr9jUm9Q-Jaga3XmVyyiI6bQoHllVOQN1oDzRnbN0XMhDCKrvIhz-K59f6n71KCtDfaGwEjkdGLTB86Q9whk_ccU/s1600-h/images-4.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRBtDpO4X2RADUt2cHWQB1ZlWVuOME55W6q1ssvdivjGl4GRJMDkFr9jUm9Q-Jaga3XmVyyiI6bQoHllVOQN1oDzRnbN0XMhDCKrvIhz-K59f6n71KCtDfaGwEjkdGLTB86Q9whk_ccU/s200/images-4.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240108446640082722" /></a><br />You are a disappointment as a son and a human being. To make up for your complete uselessness, you will marry Elizabeth Swann, for reasons that make little sense but serve the purpose of the story.<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a> <br />Elizabeth is so boring and pure. Also, I'm totally boning her best friend Penelope.<br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRBtDpO4X2RADUt2cHWQB1ZlWVuOME55W6q1ssvdivjGl4GRJMDkFr9jUm9Q-Jaga3XmVyyiI6bQoHllVOQN1oDzRnbN0XMhDCKrvIhz-K59f6n71KCtDfaGwEjkdGLTB86Q9whk_ccU/s1600-h/images-4.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRBtDpO4X2RADUt2cHWQB1ZlWVuOME55W6q1ssvdivjGl4GRJMDkFr9jUm9Q-Jaga3XmVyyiI6bQoHllVOQN1oDzRnbN0XMhDCKrvIhz-K59f6n71KCtDfaGwEjkdGLTB86Q9whk_ccU/s200/images-4.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240108446640082722" /></a><br />I will cut off your allowance!<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a> <br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Jeez</span>! Okay, I'll do it!<br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">PART THREE: THE SWANN MANSION</span><br /> <br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s1600-h/emma02.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s200/emma02.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240115424492888450" /></a><br />Oh, how I hate my crappy, low wage job as lady's maid to that stupid Elizabeth Swann. But oh, how I love Will, the beautiful stableboy. <br /><br />Wait, what's Elizabeth doing in the stables in the middle of the night? <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s1600-h/cast5.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s200/cast5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101766526438850" /></a> <br />I love you, Will! Let's do it, but it won't mean anything because I am rich and posh, and you are a stable boy<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s1600-h/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s200/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102504480804898" /></a><br />Let's run away together. We can go to the West and be ranchers!<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s1600-h/cast5.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s200/cast5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101766526438850" /></a><br />See above. But, let's totally have sex anyway.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s1600-h/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s200/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102504480804898" /></a><br />Okay<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s1600-h/emma02.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s200/emma02.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240115424492888450" /></a><br />GRR!<br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"> A CLANDESTINE MEETING</span><br /><br /> <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s1600-h/images.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s200/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103075526805746" /></a><br />Let's have some skanky villain sex and talk about our future together as King and Queen of Manhatten.<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a><br />Do you love me?<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s1600-h/images.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s200/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103075526805746" /></a><br />What is this love you speak of? I want world domination!!!<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a><br />I need a drink.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">PART 4: THE ENGAGEMENT</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMzK0KPKUSjWQtBZ9V0H0kbAlQwNPjIbc2Br4KCVxMAdzi6049Ad-9TKC71IdBDtfHk79VHDVKmiZZPIU6gSOG-4YaHYxDMiWeBTouueP52W1NnbhIxghpr0R3TQtyjwYWysMKly94Lk/s1600-h/images-2.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVMzK0KPKUSjWQtBZ9V0H0kbAlQwNPjIbc2Br4KCVxMAdzi6049Ad-9TKC71IdBDtfHk79VHDVKmiZZPIU6gSOG-4YaHYxDMiWeBTouueP52W1NnbhIxghpr0R3TQtyjwYWysMKly94Lk/s200/images-2.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101977179496082" /></a><br />You must marry Henry or else we will be POOR!<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s1600-h/cast5.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s200/cast5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101766526438850" /></a><br />Okay. (Note to self: don't tell Will)<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s1600-h/emma02.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s200/emma02.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240115424492888450" /></a><br />Psst, Will! Elizabeth is totally marrying Henry!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s1600-h/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s200/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102504480804898" /></a><br />D'oh.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a><br />Elizabeth, even thought I think you're boring and bland, will you marry me?<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s1600-h/cast5.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s200/cast5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101766526438850" /></a><br />Sure. I guess.<br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">LATER, THE SAME DAY</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a><br />I <span style="font-style:italic;">really</span> need a drink. Hey, why are you wearing my hat?<br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s1600-h/images-3.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s200/images-3.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102246179281698" /></a><br />Because I am daring and bohemian! Kiss me!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a><br />Okay.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s1600-h/images-3.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwF_D7eUZ59Gvo6-ReGJOjdIZPDRZVX0HZgpR_RJyEr_ulOf0sNNHBNl8sTO9HkDBAYxF3mzeNXFAoMuZyuhJwf7YLUSqmLNqN-ersHYAP2A7k9bSUI-O1GkmfpUEiaYrdDYIYiuO94Es/s200/images-3.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102246179281698" /></a><br /> Finally - a tingling in my groin! I think I'm in love!<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s1600-h/images-7.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitR7XZ0GptqZOML1hyPLTq-c9vEfwI-dU52kuWCJhiI83PD-na92xSSYT4_2Sa-5DHaywEH_zP001jOxEVmxHMJR3okJRiQaQ4X-kj5KMmWYLbw-NLWT3OlT2pJYZuKY_Mv3A7VPHbUFA/s200/images-7.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102871233653714" /></a> <br />Diana is so daring and bohemian. I think I love her. But I must marry her boring sister or my allowance will be cut<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s1600-h/cast5.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLLEXf5GEo0OZR4Q-iXjQM4NXLQHuoW3sFrAXOI49mfNl3cxphJACzLINA-_C4lK5uzHqOYQvNRW46r6Kt0lYZdgiKaYbur0qaj2Xb-B4o-qfw6Oei3XHKlklga3AA9b1xP15p3kpVxmE/s200/cast5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240101766526438850" /></a><br />Even though I love Will, I will marry Henry for the sake of my family<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s1600-h/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe9SV5mg2q_clnYaSCjV-ZxOW1X1ptJcqGFGQSwaZbmGUjkmC_NDo6-7d3ifda9hDLTbH1jjsCT45nnMGARzomK5gmRPLMJDlMPUw8Us_hMVKoJDWeJpl5MIAS5wq6ts3T7dGDnyMsbY/s200/ben-mckenzie-shirtless-04.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240102504480804898" /></a><br />Even though I love Elizabeth, I must go to California and seek my fortune. But first, I will leave her letter in case she wants to join me.<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s1600-h/emma02.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhc5xv1Kk7cCpMPuD60X_cYePxOqJJ-36c2qx1PikdRM7QX-arIoK_0oZSrYmefX8vLyErUnpInvuPVY4fQlHHAwaIoLAnTZguw2ZBoU9bQvFlEA94JeC7SK_SxBatBoDyPkGzgKBUdI8/s200/emma02.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240115424492888450" /></a><br />She will never see this letter! Will will be mine!<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s1600-h/images.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3bWbOrQiaq90UtOYy9vPutRq4J0sEN7N0rOhGbZdq8aE9-GbvRBbo3DBarXUqt4eMf-YXI4RJsCsU1Lw-DX0P6pYu8RgG68jOkHP405pjTth_fs4zwhSoQemsXhe9pvb5Ns8jLDbkfUM/s200/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103075526805746" /></a><br />REVENGE WILL BE MINE!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPS2x5o_nOKOIwOxjfQpAHwik6b80bByiSELGOgmxjeD-dxrvRVQLPda9ML2KygEzuB88oG9YAVVFA1tw6VWncBEMIMei7WJF_lgpXLiAvRaODwD5q1d3MepufrbjyajQyWFfPBPC8Pys/s1600-h/images-5.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPS2x5o_nOKOIwOxjfQpAHwik6b80bByiSELGOgmxjeD-dxrvRVQLPda9ML2KygEzuB88oG9YAVVFA1tw6VWncBEMIMei7WJF_lgpXLiAvRaODwD5q1d3MepufrbjyajQyWFfPBPC8Pys/s200/images-5.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240103332301025266" /></a><br />Ice cream?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'll stop there, in case you actually want to read the book and find out for yourselves how these tangled and emotionally complex story lines are resolved.<br /><br />One thing's for certain: I can't wait to read <span style="font-style:italic;">Rumors</span>!Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-81747849072406385812008-07-24T22:46:00.006+01:002008-12-11T23:34:13.923+00:00I THINK I'M IN LOVE... (not really)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpQqmHITyJJgooWw3tMVWmwufUfP8UPrSMIwxNZM1ZED2ih1w_-mgZxdWKP3_ofgARO-E9he50iZSXHFBwllPEum_-gNgx3pHVlnae1jH7fSLAVEtZBdZLNt_C7wYWTxWzLq6xGUBqje8/s1600-h/coren.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpQqmHITyJJgooWw3tMVWmwufUfP8UPrSMIwxNZM1ZED2ih1w_-mgZxdWKP3_ofgARO-E9he50iZSXHFBwllPEum_-gNgx3pHVlnae1jH7fSLAVEtZBdZLNt_C7wYWTxWzLq6xGUBqje8/s320/coren.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226700476765479122" /></a><br />Spot the difference:<br /><br />"I can't think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for a nosh."<br /><br />and<br /><br />"I can't think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for nosh."<br /><br />Yes, that's right. Well spotted. There's an indefinite article missing in the last sentence of the second passage.<br /><br />This indefinite article was removed from restaurant critic Giles Coren's review by a foolhardy sub. The result is an epic <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/jul/23/mediamonkey">1,000+ word rant</a> emailed to the guilty parties.<br /><br />Starting with a benign 'Chaps,' (I love it), Coren continues, <span style="font-style:italic;">I am mightily pissed off...</span><br /><blockquote><br />I don't really like people tinkering with my copy for the sake of tinkering. I do not enjoy the suggestion that you have a better ear or eye for how I want my words to read than I do...<br /><br />It was the final sentence. Final sentences are very, very important. A piece builds to them, they are the little jingle that the reader takes with him into the weekend....<br /><br />There is no length issue. This is someone thinking "I'll just remove this indefinite article because Coren is an illiterate cunt and i know best".<br /><br />Well, you fucking don't.<br /></blockquote><br />Of course, Coren goes into great detail at this point to explain exactly why this was "shit, shit sub-editing." It really is too good not to share in its full, virulent glory.<br /><blockquote>1) 'Nosh', as I'm sure you fluent Yiddish speakers know, is a noun formed from a bastardisation of the German 'naschen'. It is a verb, and can be construed into two distinct nouns. One, 'nosh', means simply 'food'. You have decided that this is what i meant and removed the 'a'. I am insulted enough that you think you have a better ear for English than me. But a better ear for Yiddish? I doubt it. Because the other noun, 'nosh' means "a session of eating" - in this sense you might think of its dual valency as being similar to that of 'scoff'. you can go for a scoff. or you can buy some scoff. the sentence you left me with is shit, and is not what i meant. Why would you change a sentnece aso that it meant something i didn't mean? I don't know, but you risk doing it every time you change something. And the way you avoid this kind of fuck up is by not changing a word of my copy without asking me, okay? it's easy. Not. A. Word. Ever.<br /><br />2) I will now explain why your error is even more shit than it looks. You see, i was making a joke. I do that sometimes. I have set up the street as "sexually-charged". I have described the shenanigans across the road at G.A.Y.. I have used the word 'gaily' as a gentle nudge. And "looking for a nosh" has a secondary meaning of looking for a blowjob. Not specifically gay, for this is soho, and there are plenty of girls there who take money for noshing boys. "looking for nosh" does not have that ambiguity. the joke is gone. I only wrote that sodding paragraph to make that joke. And you've fucking stripped it out like a pissed Irish plasterer restoring a renaissance fresco and thinking jesus looks shit with a bear so plastering over it. You might as well have removed the whole paragraph. I mean, fucking christ, don't you read the copy?<br /><br />3) And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed 'a' so that the stress that should have fallen on "nosh" is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you're winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can't you hear? Can't you hear that it is wrong? It's not fucking rocket science. It's fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.</blockquote><br />I absolutely love point 2, Coren going into lengthy detail to explain his mightily unamusing and laboured 'joke.' This conceit is only equalled by his drawing parallels to his restaurant review and a renaissance fresco. Bless.<br /><br />Lest we think Coren is losing his grip on reality, his continues on an ameliorative note:<br /><blockquote><br />I am sorry if this looks petty... but i care deeply about my work and i hate to have it fucked up by shit subbing... I woke up at three in the morning on sunday and fucking lay there, furious, for two hours. weird, maybe. but that's how it is.</blockquote><br />Now this kind of wins me over. And, in case you think it can't get any better than 'fuck fuck fuck,' Coren concludes with - wait for it -<br /><blockquote>Right,<br />Sorry to go on. Anger, real steaming fucking anger can make a man verbose.<br />All the best<br />Giles</blockquote><br />I am charmed.<br /><br />This is not the first time Coren has let loose on a sub. In 2002, the bastardization of the sentence 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' led to a less epically proportioned (though no less impassioned) email, which concluded<br /><blockquote>never ask me to write something for you. and don't pay me. i'd rather take £400 quid for assassinating a crack whore's only child in a revenge killing for a busted drug deal - my integrity would be less compromised.</blockquote><br />I confess, I didn't know Coren from Jack until this afternoon, and I don't really want to know any more. There is something hugely amusing about a curmudgeonly, self-important, articulate man with an ax to grind. Romance is crying out for a Giles Coren! (any suggestions?)<br /><br />Also, writers, writers of any kind, does the editing process ever reduce you to Coren-like levels of spittle-flying, eye-bulging, vein-popping anger?Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-91789479822085218552008-07-04T20:55:00.029+01:002008-12-11T23:34:17.477+00:00IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCKLA-LTeqH23bjKUQnWPfabMf7DekXSC1imSgtn6Jwbnn8up2rlM2U_VFGNjQie5m0j6Zfpu38kCeiHeFQTeKD5EStrArpl_r4E5tw3xEjzpqmZzphIXC2holsTnhyN2QYiKfGkGEhCg/s1600-h/Mine.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCKLA-LTeqH23bjKUQnWPfabMf7DekXSC1imSgtn6Jwbnn8up2rlM2U_VFGNjQie5m0j6Zfpu38kCeiHeFQTeKD5EStrArpl_r4E5tw3xEjzpqmZzphIXC2holsTnhyN2QYiKfGkGEhCg/s400/Mine.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219263186173970994" /></a> ...Yes, this is still a blog about romance novels and to prove it, I'm going to go Covers Crazy.<br /><br />As I might have mentioned here and there, I'm a huge Goodman fan ("ever since I picked up <a href="http://jogoodman.com/thorne_brothers.php#mrh"><span style="font-style:italic;">My Reckless Heart</span></a> eight years ago..."). Like any self-respecting fan, I've made a concerted effort to read the Collected Works and, Goodman being obliging enough to have started out in the early 80s, that makes it a grand total of <span style="font-weight:bold;">twenty-eight</span> full length novels, with another due out in September.<br /><br />Out of those twenty-eight, I've three left to read (<span style="font-style:italic;">Velvet Night, Violet Fire</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Scarlett Lies</span> - there's a whole topic on titles right there), and last week I bought these remaining books. Glancing over what I own already, I couldn't help but think how, over the course of a <span style="font-style:italic;">quarter of a century</span>, Goodman's covers encapsulate the many make-overs and questionable face-lifts historical romance has endured as a genre.<br /><br />From the traditional bodice ripper of the <span style="font-weight:bold;">eighties and early nineties</span>, I've picked some of my favourite examples <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeqg7XOl0V5U5hhEPwqp12AekhZvJjo_b6fH_PwVztYTOwjosReOzmwWiZ3DZyyf5j4MDMeqMC6bZWVH_nbJ4qoRzsygErftgF5P-uJmeOgacFDCMqJ6mGI5uAFdpeKgve9dX1z1zCnZw/s1600-h/mb_mpcvrtn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeqg7XOl0V5U5hhEPwqp12AekhZvJjo_b6fH_PwVztYTOwjosReOzmwWiZ3DZyyf5j4MDMeqMC6bZWVH_nbJ4qoRzsygErftgF5P-uJmeOgacFDCMqJ6mGI5uAFdpeKgve9dX1z1zCnZw/s320/mb_mpcvrtn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219285781867458562" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm1yefaOJGNHUFfbYknWezZAWZnlrDx2PjhWLqyQIgugP3ndcEr9ma4BJkuo1oFMMxVkFHU8sXQVR-PDQEfqAYEhYoAkhmxmAOGqhPtJV2Ciw98XX84tprBrS30DdKemOC_ojzbdgyM9U/s1600-h/mb_psrcvrtn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm1yefaOJGNHUFfbYknWezZAWZnlrDx2PjhWLqyQIgugP3ndcEr9ma4BJkuo1oFMMxVkFHU8sXQVR-PDQEfqAYEhYoAkhmxmAOGqhPtJV2Ciw98XX84tprBrS30DdKemOC_ojzbdgyM9U/s320/mb_psrcvrtn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219285782827058098" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr9vIfKGV1lyUKyWLK08W2d-lhWA4ki_xUsLrhPkEzXdUla2nXYh23jvPX2ERX_coPJMZtSQWr1qzgt0xcFEq6nWHRlvVFxZyvuN3gn90oQMWItommblQ5xdDSs-N8CvkuCKhpbaRi4Nc/s1600-h/ds_wsecvr1tn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr9vIfKGV1lyUKyWLK08W2d-lhWA4ki_xUsLrhPkEzXdUla2nXYh23jvPX2ERX_coPJMZtSQWr1qzgt0xcFEq6nWHRlvVFxZyvuN3gn90oQMWItommblQ5xdDSs-N8CvkuCKhpbaRi4Nc/s320/ds_wsecvr1tn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219285782477562130" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjMxGHSqDhwegCvHPoav0Rh-JnuR3EyHJbt5ea0yeWveeFch5681LJu2pYt2BnL646VRCK7Jo1SEkbN6qi8dQ0s-nnE8xHx2VHbFubA91qjQ-LdRBvKx1UyNCdJtKOJXkfiUi3e6OApLI/s1600-h/ds_rmcvr1tn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjMxGHSqDhwegCvHPoav0Rh-JnuR3EyHJbt5ea0yeWveeFch5681LJu2pYt2BnL646VRCK7Jo1SEkbN6qi8dQ0s-nnE8xHx2VHbFubA91qjQ-LdRBvKx1UyNCdJtKOJXkfiUi3e6OApLI/s320/ds_rmcvr1tn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219285787539572210" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I don't know if it's the passing of time, or knowing what comes later, but I have a certain fondness for these covers. The garish colours, the shirtless hero with his wavy mane; the loosened bodice and heaving bosom... it's very old school. Also, say what you will, the covers had some <span style="font-style:italic;">relevance to the story</span>: each of the above depict a scene, or a location in the book. Again, knowing what follows, I appreciate these little details. <br /><br />Come the <span style="font-weight:bold;">mid-nineties</span>, something happens. I'd love to get my hand on that memo, because, half-way through the Dennhey Sister's series, the covers go <span style="font-weight:bold;">BLAH</span>.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4KEGfC7ehTrOKd-LbJeiFUV9toECHznHeBINz1D-kFincmJ2k68D6-dtCVkJ6VTWnvSd0QtdQrTiu7RDXryikDiI7dmYjpUXVtA1JwqoalprMeQV2UxXcAKZZFrcEb7956IsnzrzSiaw/s1600-h/ds_fimhcvr1tn.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4KEGfC7ehTrOKd-LbJeiFUV9toECHznHeBINz1D-kFincmJ2k68D6-dtCVkJ6VTWnvSd0QtdQrTiu7RDXryikDiI7dmYjpUXVtA1JwqoalprMeQV2UxXcAKZZFrcEb7956IsnzrzSiaw/s320/ds_fimhcvr1tn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219271343832505714" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgcrxac3tppe_fQnfrBxyfShj3KVM0n2IvXCcchGWnqGy1VrltZsX09QsH9iQY2IDIFB0fMEY3ZMQSOmhs1BuAI073dyOcxWjQ87n7WT1T9LmbYvjtie2wTnvWkoNEXGA14ItXPdjyaU/s1600-h/ds_aimdcvrtn.gif"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgcrxac3tppe_fQnfrBxyfShj3KVM0n2IvXCcchGWnqGy1VrltZsX09QsH9iQY2IDIFB0fMEY3ZMQSOmhs1BuAI073dyOcxWjQ87n7WT1T9LmbYvjtie2wTnvWkoNEXGA14ItXPdjyaU/s320/ds_aimdcvrtn.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219271349037852882" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRrFBHd23g9edZI0buH5qHDH05QXihLanQ3i_tOEMLfIgoquR4ppybHPyE7Rd1zz1r9MMLZ9FNX2Vb47HraF4a8oT8vK29HNLrewJY28lhgTfl3uBPZkKtX07PChiN_VfkIaXVS0sVrwc/s1600-h/ds_oimacvr1tn.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRrFBHd23g9edZI0buH5qHDH05QXihLanQ3i_tOEMLfIgoquR4ppybHPyE7Rd1zz1r9MMLZ9FNX2Vb47HraF4a8oT8vK29HNLrewJY28lhgTfl3uBPZkKtX07PChiN_VfkIaXVS0sVrwc/s320/ds_oimacvr1tn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219271347795995538" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It's like they vomited birds, flowers and ribbons all over the books and the result - whilst still garish - just becomes a little sad and uninspiring. I wonder what happened in this period to bring about the change - market research, re-branding the genre to move away from the now unpopular 'bodice-ripper' connotations? In any case, <span style="font-weight:bold;">between 1994 and 2000</span>, the covers are of this ilk. <br /><br />Titles, too, change. So the first two Dennhey novels are tempestuously entitled <span style="font-style:italic;">Wild Sweet Ecstasy</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Rogue's Mistress</span> and the last three are sweeter - <span style="font-style:italic;">Forever in my Heart</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Always in My Dreams</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Only in My Arms</span> (mid-series!)<br /><br />The Hamilton Series in <span style="font-weight:bold;">2000</span> heralds another change. The front remains twee, but the back cover gets a makeover. The Clinch is back!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpUnY8HhutqTsUkYbXjOYN3PagL9XrEKaPx2s-yOYhKMRiMkiTR7UaNZpifwn04heZtapge-qL2p_SYq9op0aTqEK1SnScdYiIgUVtglTGKvabGh8kEbfXIJ919iYhRV1ny-Wd0LJaNqE/s1600-h/hf_mtykcvr1tn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpUnY8HhutqTsUkYbXjOYN3PagL9XrEKaPx2s-yOYhKMRiMkiTR7UaNZpifwn04heZtapge-qL2p_SYq9op0aTqEK1SnScdYiIgUVtglTGKvabGh8kEbfXIJ919iYhRV1ny-Wd0LJaNqE/s320/hf_mtykcvr1tn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219276719959710018" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSKhCZgMluNiIREPwefxLPNWSz_Dbbb9ydL_azeYS-Km8yjF35vkYppfDXjV9QkuQcQ6hEqifHQ1O2m2p0GXqcf1uwd5wkp_ovRTCKgVE4oPUxe9zGHvsII33KpT3y6-jT8rstqNHsNpc/s1600-h/hf_mtykcvr2tn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSKhCZgMluNiIREPwefxLPNWSz_Dbbb9ydL_azeYS-Km8yjF35vkYppfDXjV9QkuQcQ6hEqifHQ1O2m2p0GXqcf1uwd5wkp_ovRTCKgVE4oPUxe9zGHvsII33KpT3y6-jT8rstqNHsNpc/s320/hf_mtykcvr2tn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219276720647336978" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0TzaStkd4apTiCVKh1gN4pDv5dkHSH7c_4lkCQaTwKgov31FKR9qZjHTzNrAKEZoUYSMxfMc5aM4_G8eKpnFhq26E7rqO0B6ru0heJ46QNGc85zsF2gdxryoMpx7w2hVNByjK753-vk0/s1600-h/hf_mtywcvr1tn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0TzaStkd4apTiCVKh1gN4pDv5dkHSH7c_4lkCQaTwKgov31FKR9qZjHTzNrAKEZoUYSMxfMc5aM4_G8eKpnFhq26E7rqO0B6ru0heJ46QNGc85zsF2gdxryoMpx7w2hVNByjK753-vk0/s320/hf_mtywcvr1tn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219276723864982050" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvBkRHK82GSpvlVk7TZx-n1agH0-SZGpjWtUPWbG4rJbrPWUlBhsJf8CuUianmndy-LeLHRUkNmG0mEPVtl8sTyNqOAzL9lvXjXWM9Fi6aZtu52bulTRADY46Bggyx1wQJErUJshaeda4/s1600-h/hf_mtywcvr2tn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvBkRHK82GSpvlVk7TZx-n1agH0-SZGpjWtUPWbG4rJbrPWUlBhsJf8CuUianmndy-LeLHRUkNmG0mEPVtl8sTyNqOAzL9lvXjXWM9Fi6aZtu52bulTRADY46Bggyx1wQJErUJshaeda4/s320/hf_mtywcvr2tn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219276726499063938" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Wavy hair? Check! Bosom? Check! Canoodling? Check! Of course, it's a lot more tender and whimsical - less wind-blown-high-seas-adventure-with-forced-seduction and more rose-tinted-let's-make-gentle-love-and-talk-about-our-feelings. Still, there's a sense that change is afoot.<br /><br />Which is why the next three are a puzzle. The first three books of Goodman's well received Compass Club series get some of the blandest covers I have ever had the privilege to own. And the last one - in a complete change of style, goes retro.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNzpa7QJkASpkb5Cek-cBT4MXNMJ3M6c_yFdCt4CfkENn5fHT-N1nzTtTX-CiA5qHxSvgF0XwjzEJt-mWsYd7BbpvlH5qclrDriUzAL2Um0qzN-UW-ZXoDQpl2Mzy6XGW_ZucoaB5Rois/s1600-h/cc_everwantedcvrtn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNzpa7QJkASpkb5Cek-cBT4MXNMJ3M6c_yFdCt4CfkENn5fHT-N1nzTtTX-CiA5qHxSvgF0XwjzEJt-mWsYd7BbpvlH5qclrDriUzAL2Um0qzN-UW-ZXoDQpl2Mzy6XGW_ZucoaB5Rois/s320/cc_everwantedcvrtn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219279195942318898" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrQHQQJ3yYpRrb_pHGAZlU5vgV6s9OVOEtYznVtQEgzz5osgfQ71xUHRplt113kPJQ13Nc9gp6F5QQKeZpMeCSQBebVz4ZGLpHLku-n9-IEn8WbrJoXL7SuXxiFFqVxDKlJZd_1IUR9w/s1600-h/cc_everwantedcvrtn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrQHQQJ3yYpRrb_pHGAZlU5vgV6s9OVOEtYznVtQEgzz5osgfQ71xUHRplt113kPJQ13Nc9gp6F5QQKeZpMeCSQBebVz4ZGLpHLku-n9-IEn8WbrJoXL7SuXxiFFqVxDKlJZd_1IUR9w/s320/cc_everwantedcvrtn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219279198170180946" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJhz45VMJoPuBAguhenCmNvqL-4U9tVQozw96R6vFN4VMfxa3zcUx3phlI8pylRkoEByiMk4oh5dwCSXSDrL_dPlO4IvhFRuExH259x26QM19tVfRe2po5e0G-2IRJS2Yjex4-VxezkSI/s1600-h/cc_allieverneededcvrtn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJhz45VMJoPuBAguhenCmNvqL-4U9tVQozw96R6vFN4VMfxa3zcUx3phlI8pylRkoEByiMk4oh5dwCSXSDrL_dPlO4IvhFRuExH259x26QM19tVfRe2po5e0G-2IRJS2Yjex4-VxezkSI/s320/cc_allieverneededcvrtn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219279198648522354" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0WmvYQ4DohVkkZHNvxocRyUJ1FNRr7J3X3KzZZNNYYDERog5xfs5bBjXr8bXUZPfVaxq2Eabi-pY0f12JdODn2e5zQ4c8IoGQqRP3ueKWVNJg4G_epe0HC1TCzz3qZLbYm3aDLHpR_yU/s1600-h/cc_beyondwickedkisstn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0WmvYQ4DohVkkZHNvxocRyUJ1FNRr7J3X3KzZZNNYYDERog5xfs5bBjXr8bXUZPfVaxq2Eabi-pY0f12JdODn2e5zQ4c8IoGQqRP3ueKWVNJg4G_epe0HC1TCzz3qZLbYm3aDLHpR_yU/s320/cc_beyondwickedkisstn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219279202670552674" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Note, the title changes too. I begin to wonder if Zebra gives a crap about consistency.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The next three books - <span style="font-weight:bold;">2005 onwards</span> - though not part of an official series, are nonetheless connected in time period (regency), location and characters. The first two continue the latest full body clinch...<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMveQuBaZ_-AdnV4zSNO8RvrLQnJpYhZDf9r6V4wxotmsc3GzRXPLsSC_2-c4BGttd0aJSEs79cH9y6ud402yAez-1rCIjuKg6spYYLBYYDbSzAMK5ZoDYO183xtwrRfqXZz3Xa8Booro/s1600-h/oneforbideve1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMveQuBaZ_-AdnV4zSNO8RvrLQnJpYhZDf9r6V4wxotmsc3GzRXPLsSC_2-c4BGttd0aJSEs79cH9y6ud402yAez-1rCIjuKg6spYYLBYYDbSzAMK5ZoDYO183xtwrRfqXZz3Xa8Booro/s320/oneforbideve1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219280634659363922" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8R2c7ypWtBct97cwheJqRfV8zq_HvHq5XZtL5pjH3vjl-8ldrhV0FLJN8vkD1OJmjJev-dspwk3W3tE2pBoi7AQPVEqCfnDDGX4wiPZbOxzH93VORDrOt47W5VHGHKoOh0o696KITwKY/s1600-h/ob_sinfulseasoncvrtn.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8R2c7ypWtBct97cwheJqRfV8zq_HvHq5XZtL5pjH3vjl-8ldrhV0FLJN8vkD1OJmjJev-dspwk3W3tE2pBoi7AQPVEqCfnDDGX4wiPZbOxzH93VORDrOt47W5VHGHKoOh0o696KITwKY/s320/ob_sinfulseasoncvrtn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219280644964051842" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />... but not the third (remember, same author, same publishing house, books linked by time, theme and characters)...<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAEAAAWSN8sSUP51Cn2MdEPZvB8IABSoYWE5gnqCmRmQ9EjNNrUGME2KYNGqJiZ-jHFIIEo_8KDaILjFpWgIPRwBgocsRsmdxQPDA3BhTZ-RBDIoUcnVPu8nApROe3wYzts4pM2Nnk5so/s1600-h/ihkiw.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAEAAAWSN8sSUP51Cn2MdEPZvB8IABSoYWE5gnqCmRmQ9EjNNrUGME2KYNGqJiZ-jHFIIEo_8KDaILjFpWgIPRwBgocsRsmdxQPDA3BhTZ-RBDIoUcnVPu8nApROe3wYzts4pM2Nnk5so/s320/ihkiw.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219291187144974706" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">If His Kiss is Wicked,</span> possibly Goodman's most successful book to date, has a cover that departs dramatically from those before it. We all know hot men sell, and this cover appears to have done the job. It's in keeping with a general trend I've noticed, one that either decapitates the heroine or cuts her out of the picture entirely.<br /> <br />You'd think Zebra would be sticking to a successful formula. Think again.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The Price of Desire</span> is due out in September, and they've opted for the Headless Heroine. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKYne2XtOGhEFYJ-NbdaBXvyT84aGljw0o_IM61zHXiFH1eNsAK9a8fFJWUffC84YeDijJvoZ894QUcROlq2whWCWP8UatYEAlVPVzSEDqkPrLVXIv1GZIuwuJEgmKKYDicG7ypXtaoN0/s1600-h/tpod.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKYne2XtOGhEFYJ-NbdaBXvyT84aGljw0o_IM61zHXiFH1eNsAK9a8fFJWUffC84YeDijJvoZ894QUcROlq2whWCWP8UatYEAlVPVzSEDqkPrLVXIv1GZIuwuJEgmKKYDicG7ypXtaoN0/s320/tpod.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219282052601068770" /></a><br />The titles shift 'subtly' once again. 'Wicked,' 'Sinful', 'Forbidden:' from emo, we're moving onto something a little more sexy and dangerous. <br /><br />Spanning almost twenty-five years, Goodman's books provide an interesting record of the trends the genre - and a publishing house in particular - have undergone in that time. It would be interesting to compare with the backlist of an Avon author, just to see if it follows the same general pattern, whether changing the look and tone of a series mid-way through it is normal, and what influences affected those changes.Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-66692419492248648852008-07-03T21:59:00.011+01:002008-12-11T23:34:18.548+00:00SOME THOUGHTS ON GEORGE GISSING<a onblur="snap_noshots" "try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhimXhnMiIkRhaE-UeaoRe-wrOctKnwlUslTf272Z6rhFrnL4KGAqPdOoegjLypU-4anqNYs-UPrCs-uKIGVzzi15xQu5V31cA9ImALSXZ-5w72TWt5ehi3funZRccvHdk5zp0j04zH2-Q/s1600-h/ixdel116.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhimXhnMiIkRhaE-UeaoRe-wrOctKnwlUslTf272Z6rhFrnL4KGAqPdOoegjLypU-4anqNYs-UPrCs-uKIGVzzi15xQu5V31cA9ImALSXZ-5w72TWt5ehi3funZRccvHdk5zp0j04zH2-Q/s400/ixdel116.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218902374864715730" /></a> George Gissing is an useful writer if you're after late Victorian fiction less involved with the minutia of character (Henry James et al ) and more concerned with the wider social issues of the day. He writes in broader strokes, is far more accessible than most of his contemporaries, and his depiction of a generally overlooked class - the lower middle class - is both enlightening and refreshing.<br /> <br />I've read three of his books. <a href="http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WWW/WEBPAGES/showbook.php?id=019283312X"><span style="font-style:italic;">The Odd Women</span></a>, based around the question of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Woman">New Woman</a>, <a href="http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WWW/WEBPAGES/showbook.php?id=0192836587"><span style="font-style:italic;">New Grub Street</span></a>, and <a href="http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WWW/WEBPAGES/showbook.php?id=0460872419"><span style="font-style:italic;">Born In Exile</span></a>. Gissing's portrayal of genteel women, caught in the trap of poverty with no realistic means of escape (too posh for labour, untrained for the 'male' professions, so their only recourse is to accept degrading and pitifully paid jobs in the limited professions open to them - governesses and teachers) is deeply moving, even when his general attitude to the emancipated woman remains ambivalent.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtb2CP_k68qjlAu5pYil5PZ6MEoaDYT1Aa8b5zrbYjaIcYyKiSy8SchVHSH7Sf98PT1RqNf70o09uS7FGL5pT7CRZ3FNSEevDHUhDQMWRvYBv8IW6s99CpNakJKCQx94brHiMg7WKhnVg/s1600-h/images-2.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtb2CP_k68qjlAu5pYil5PZ6MEoaDYT1Aa8b5zrbYjaIcYyKiSy8SchVHSH7Sf98PT1RqNf70o09uS7FGL5pT7CRZ3FNSEevDHUhDQMWRvYBv8IW6s99CpNakJKCQx94brHiMg7WKhnVg/s400/images-2.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218906138089368178" /></a> Similarly, <span style="font-style:italic;">New Grub Street</span> explores the lower rungs of the literary world, how society rewards opportunism and networking over genuine literary endeavour. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja0-4STd7HHWdEDLryMMECjcR7z2ibPUzwE_BYJw8kh9xJnLPgsRP0i7C0B-uYh8Ce5c3PikoEw01tlGUvqItqxkYfUvZtjVmGjzHGVh7F09JTA3JRSrIADaqrJB8JNgxfm9SnjlFd0uw/s1600-h/images-3.jpeg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja0-4STd7HHWdEDLryMMECjcR7z2ibPUzwE_BYJw8kh9xJnLPgsRP0i7C0B-uYh8Ce5c3PikoEw01tlGUvqItqxkYfUvZtjVmGjzHGVh7F09JTA3JRSrIADaqrJB8JNgxfm9SnjlFd0uw/s400/images-3.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218906513005637586" /></a> <br /><a href="http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WWW/WEBPAGES/showbook.php?id=0460872419"><span style="font-style:italic;">Born in Exile</span></a>, which I have just finished, is also his most striking - and provoking. Its main character, Godwin Peak, a fiercely intelligent and proud man born to a vulgar, lower middle family, seeks to improve his social connections and find an idealised perfect woman by becoming a member of the clergy. The year is 1884 and Godwin is a committed atheist, both by nature and training, yet the only way he can gain equal footing with men he considers his intellectual equals (the upper middle class), and the woman he considers his ideal, is through the social mobility offered by the church. <blockquote>"There is a case in which a woman will marry without much regard to her husband's origin. Let him be a parson, and he may aim as high as he chooses."</blockquote><br />Godwin is an egotist, a snob, proud to the point of self-destruction and one of the most unlikeable characters I have read about in a long time. I got through the first half of the book only because I longed to see his comeuppance. Yet, the sneaking suspicion came upon me that Gissing actually sympathised with Godwin's plight - that this hypocritical, self-justifying egotist was in fact the hero of this bitter, strange novel. The crazy thing is, by the end, Gissing had almost convinced me of it. Not wholly, but I sympathised with Peak - a man frustrated by his class and lack of means in finding a natural place for himself within society.<br /> <br />The double standards to which Godwin is subjected become clear when his dishonesty is denounced as vile, hypocritical and inspired by greed; social-climbing of the most dishonorable order, yet clergymen like the handsome and well-born Bruno Chilvers, who has patently little, if any, actual belief in Christianity is feted as a great, 'broad minded' man, a credit to the modernising church. This is highlighted in an amusing, somewhat heavy-handed exchange between the two men.<br /><blockquote>[Bruno]'The results of science are the divine message to our age; to neglect them, to fear them, is to remain under the old law .... Less of St Paul, and more of Darwin! Less of Luther, and more of Herbert Spencer!'<br /><br />'Shall I have the pleasure of hearing this doctrine at St Margaret's?' Peak inquired.<br /><br />'In a form suitable to the intelligence of my parishioners, taken in the mass. Were my hands perfectly free, I should begin by preaching a series of sermons on ~The Origin of species~. Sermons! An obnoxious word! One ought never to use it. It signifies everything inept, inert.'</blockquote><br />Did I mention how objectionable I found Godwin Peak? Here is a sample of his views on womankind:<br /> <blockquote> Conventional women--but was not the phrase tautological? In the few females who have liberated their souls, was not much of the woman inevitably sacrificed, and would it not be so for long years to come? On the other hand, such a one as Sidwell might be held a perfect creature, perfect in relation to a certain stage of human development. Look at her, as she sat conversing with Moorhouse, soft candle-light upon her face; compare her on the one hand with an average emancipated girl, on the other with a daughter of the people. How unsatisfying was the former; the latter, how repulsive! Here one had the exquisite mean, the lady as England has perfected her towards the close of this nineteenth century. A being of marvellous delicacy, of purest instincts, of unsurpassable sweetness. Who could not detail her limitations, obvious and, in certain moods, irritating enough? These were nothing to the point, unless one would roam the world a hungry idealist; and Godwin was weary of the famined pilgrimage.</blockquote><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7R1h35Zm3HwccEtF8Uk5jIG_xI7qrih2Ss8-YYVSsNXdnV3J5W9z7act-0-7sH3hZB7jP-udIVGeOwx6DLEClh0Xxl0v5Nma5tppHPkSwQfvBHZbck6qnCwkjqVqCyUrmW4UJ8n8ugV0/s1600-h/fox.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7R1h35Zm3HwccEtF8Uk5jIG_xI7qrih2Ss8-YYVSsNXdnV3J5W9z7act-0-7sH3hZB7jP-udIVGeOwx6DLEClh0Xxl0v5Nma5tppHPkSwQfvBHZbck6qnCwkjqVqCyUrmW4UJ8n8ugV0/s400/fox.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218907140975479378" /></a><br />Popular culture (of a book that has gained widespread appeal):<br /><blockquote>'...I couldn't read a page. Whatever the mob enjoys is at once spoilt for me, however good I should otherwise think it. I am sick of seeing and hearing the man's name... This book seems to me to have a bad smell; it looks mauled with dirty fingers. I despise Oldwinkle for his popularity. To make them laugh, and to laugh ~with~ them--pah!'</blockquote> <br /> <br />Working class Londoners:<br /><blockquote>But the London vulgar I abominate, root and branch. The mere sound of their voices nauseates me; their vilely grotesque accent and pronunciation--bah! I could write a paper to show that they are essentially the basest of English mortals.</blockquote><br /><br />In a character, these attitudes are startling and unpleasant, but when you suspect that they are the voice of the author - well, it's difficult as a 'modern reader' to adjust to it, to accept with a blithe 'oh, well, it was different then.'<br /> <br />Still, what is extraordinary about Gissing for me is how very real he makes the experiences of these Victorians, with their economies (absorbing to read about the cost of a meal, rent for a room, the price of meat - survival. And then to compare it to the aristocrats I regularly read about in romances, with their thousand pound Worth gowns and flashing jewels). He makes the London fog real (for the best description, there's an incredible passage in The Odd Women), and the petty struggle of maintaining a social standing; the rigid immobility of the late Victorian class structure. The problematic reception to the 'emancipated woman,' and 'radical politics' - in other words, the spread of democracy, which necessarily meant bestowing rights and powers upon the 'unenlightened mob' Godwin so despises. Fear and loathing of commercialism, consumerism and the 'dumbing down' of culture pervades his work. <br /> <br />Most astonishing of all (though perhaps I am being naive) is the battle between science and religion that raged over a century ago, and shows no signs of abating even today. That the debate is alive and well, and its parameters so unchanged seems incredible. Reading Gissing, I feel I can reach out and touch these faraway people, the space of years reduced by the similarity of our day to day struggles, both material and otherwise.<br /> <br />A troubling, infuriating writer, but worth the effort, I think.<br /> <br />-----------------------------<br /> <br />A snippet from a <a href="http://books.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,,2257038,00.html">review</a> of Gissing's biogrpahy:<br /><blockquote>Orwell, who admired him, once proposed that every writer eventually produces a book whose title summarises their attitude to life. Gissing's, you suppose, would be Born in Exile, but the gate-keeper who barred him from the paradisal park of his imaginings - a thousand a year, intellectual company and a "lady" to love - was substantially his own inner self.</blockquote><br /><br />Here’s a bio on the <a href="http://www.victorianweb.org/authors/gissing/bio.html">Victorian Web</a> <br /><br />And a website devoted to <a href="http://ehlt.flinders.edu.au/english/Gissing/Gissing_HomePage.htm">all things Gissing</a>.Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2758962596079172350.post-774779193843801832008-06-13T21:47:00.013+01:002009-03-28T00:39:55.750+00:00TIRED OF AMAZON<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOzpEGXuMIRTVGAhT5ZPIqs94nDU42sGKZwlVGV2fCnyH8Cf0JfQ31De75p6t4XBLGloS99rLUnbPjc-Sqgzztz95MD_2nuG_7zys_m43IFYBpH2D4yCpy6hPag8y36TlWhKP6Fn4Ndzg/s1600-h/you_suck.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOzpEGXuMIRTVGAhT5ZPIqs94nDU42sGKZwlVGV2fCnyH8Cf0JfQ31De75p6t4XBLGloS99rLUnbPjc-Sqgzztz95MD_2nuG_7zys_m43IFYBpH2D4yCpy6hPag8y36TlWhKP6Fn4Ndzg/s400/you_suck.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211482585607406850" /></a><br />For the sake of convenience, I buy most of my books from Amazon. Or, I used to. Ever since the ruckus with Reba Belle and the case of the <a href="http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2008/04/18/summary-post-of-rebas-amazon-fight/">deleted reviews</a>, I haven’t been able to make myself buy from there.<br /><br />I thought my unease would subside in a few months (and that this would be a great opportunity to make a dent in my tbr pile), but the more I hear about Amazon, the less I’m inclined to throw my money their way. <br /><br />This morning I woke to a <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_7452000/7452450.stm">Radio 4 spot</a> recounting a recent dispute over terms between Amazon and Hatchette, Britian’s biggest publishing group. <br /><br />The story was originally broken by <a href="http://www.thebookseller.com/news/59533-hachette-clashes-with-amazon.html">Bookseller</a> last month, when Amazon removed from sale key front and backlist titles from across the Hachette Group (taking away the ‘buy new' button).<br /><br />According to the radio segment, publishers and retailers split profits on 90% of the price of a book. However, Amazon is pushing "too hard for too great a share." Currently, more than half of the price of the book already goes to the retailer. <br /><br />Where does this leave the authors? Well, it punishes them - a publisher giving the bookseller a really deep discount effects the author’s share of the pie.<br /><br />Says <a href="http://www.bookarazzi.com/front/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=257&Itemid=55">bookarazzi</a>, <br /><blockquote> The ultimate losers are the authors, who get a smaller and smaller slice of the pie. I got 70p per book with a cover price of £10.00. When books are sold at a discount, the author gets significantly less than that (percentages vary according to contract, but they're typically less than 10% of cover price).</blockquote><br />In a <a href="http://www.thebookseller.com/news/60365-hely-hutchinson-criticises-amazon.html">letter to authors</a>, Hachette C.E.O. Tim Hely Hutchinson stated:<br /><blockquote>[Despite advantageous terms] “Amazon seems each year to go from one publisher to another making increasing demands in order to achieve richer terms at our expense and sometimes at yours.”</blockquote><br />Since then, the agent and author community has come out in support for Hatchette, with one rival publisher stating: “Taking the ‘Buy’ button down is the equivalent of going to a bookseller on the high street and saying, ‘Can I buy that book?’, and them saying, ‘No.’ It’s disgraceful.” <br /><br />Quite.<br /><br />I think it’s time to find myself another online retailer. Listed below are some UK alteratives if, like me, Amazon is beginning to smell a little off.<br /> <br /><a href="http://www.abebooks.co.uk/">http://www.abebooks.co.uk/</a> <br /><a href="http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/WEBSITE/WWW/WEBPAGES/homepage.php">The Book Depository</a> <br /><a href="http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/home.do">Waterstones</a> <br /><a href="http://www.play.com/">Play.com</a><br /><br />Or... I guess I could buy a mantitty emblazoned book over the counter... yikes.Meriamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11832436776375729050noreply@blogger.com12