Elmore Leonard said: I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances ''full of rape and adverbs.''

Friday, 20 July 2007

I Hate Harry Potter

It’s true, I hate him. Whiny, annoying, loathsome boy. I hate Ron. What an idiot. Ron is a fool. Hermione I like. She does not deserve to end up with a fool. At the very least, Hermione ought to be with the series’ hero, even if it is Harry Fucking Potter with his incessant carping and his - roll eyes - destiny and his swollen sense of entitlement.

I love Snape, of course. I think I could live with his being evil if he got to spank Harry, even a little. The only thing that would upset me is his death. So don’t do it, Rowling!

Why do I read the damn books? Reader, I cracked. I think it happened just after book 6 was released. My friend Veronica had given me the first few as a present and for years I ignored them. Then, one day I picked up HP and the Philosopher’s Stone. After an excruciating start I found myself following the story, reading it in a gulp. The rest followed.

I hate Harry; I hate Ron; I hate the simplistic black and white morality (I’m rooting for Voldemort. Maybe Hermione could become his Dark Queen/ child bride?), but I like the books and I’ve enjoyed the series. I’m going to get my book tomorrow morning, Amazon willing, and I’m going to do my damndest to stay in bed until it’s finished. I can’t wait.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, haha. While I agree with you on some things-- namely that Harry himself is a nosy, arrogant prat, and I have an inexplicable love for Snape, I have to respectfully disagree.

But I guess it's sort of how I feel about Twilight-- and no one else seems to get that it's a pathetic excuse for a series.

To each their own, right?